And Yet
by kitkatfox
Summary: Starfire has killed Slade. But he leaves a little gift that turns Starfire against Robin. How can love bloom when the girl wants to kill you? RobStar RaeBB
1. The Haunting Dead

_Hey...I doubt any of you know me, as this is my first fanfiction in this section. So, I hope it's okay. smiles I uh...like Teen Titans, but I definately don't own them, so don't sue me. Umm...so, I usually write romantic fluff fanfics...this one will be a slight change for me (though it is definately still romantic) as it is on the darker side. Angsty and stuff... But I do promise to make the ending happy, as I hate having non-happy endings! This isa Starfire/Robin ff with some slight Starfire/Beast Boy (only for conflict) and a little Raven/Beast Boy (they're cute together, though I'm not sure why...) Ummm, please review, I love to hear peoples opinions, even if they have "constructive criticism" (what true writers call negative comments). Reviews make my day! Enjoy!_

**And Yet...**

**_Chapter One: The Haunting Dead_**

It was not supposed to happen like this. Slade was dead. He is dead. And yet...He continues to haunt us all. The day I had looked forward to for a long time had to happen on the one-week anniversary of Slade plummeting to his death. There was no way I could really control that but...I could. I just did not. I guess I wanted us to forget. But I do regret it. My heart was bursting for so long though. I had to...I had no choice.

Well, that is what I tried to convince myself of. It did not seem to be working. I glanced at Robin lying peacefully beside me. Probably for the first time in...who knows how long? I, on the other hand, was awake, battling invisible demons within myself. He had fallen asleep with his arms around me, muttering about love. But I had moved away soon after he had drifted off, and now I sat on the edge of the bed, my knees drawn up to my chest, staring out the window at the stars. Knowing my home planet was among them, I wondered if I had made the right decision in leaving. Twice. It was too late to go back now of course. I had, how you say, "put down roots". Another glance to Robin informed my debating conscience that there was no way I could leave. And yet...

TTTTTTTTTT

I screamed in pain as a knife appeared in my side. The other four Teen Titans froze.

"Do not move..." came the calm, cold voice from above me. I winced as he clutched my neck tighter. Beast Boy reverted to his human form, Cyborg lowered his cannon arm and Raven dropped her shadowy tendrils. Robin's eyes revealed that he was battling on whether to try and attack his arch nemesis and save me, but risk hurting me, or be defeated yet again, but have me alive. I wanted to tell him he could risk my safety to bring Slade down, but I _was_ afraid of being killed. I did not wish to die.

"Let her go." Robin gritted out. He reached for his Bo staff slowly. A harsh laugh came from my captor and I struggled a bit.

"You do not think I would do such a thing until the four of you are unarmed. Or have sworn not to harm me."

"Yeah right." came Raven's dark voice and her eyes flashed briefly. Beast Boy was poised to run or transform into some useful creature. Cyborg's tense body showed that he would raise his arm at a moment's notice. Robin glanced at each one of them slowly before looking at me, his eyes blank.

"Fine. None of us will harm you." He motioned to the Titans standing around him, his voice hollow. I blinked back tears, knowing it took a lot for Robin to say that.

The knife was removed and I stumbled slightly, but everyone's eyes remained on my assailant, save Raven's, which had looked at me quickly, in concern before they focused back on the one who had stabbed me. I put my hand to my side and it came away covered in blood. I could feel myself losing strength as I became lightheaded. The villain prepared to jump to the next building's roof, and safety. My entire body pulsed with anger and I felt myself rise into the air. I turned slowly to face the masked man and I knew my eyes were glowing a dangerous green. He jumped lightly to the next roof.

But he never made it. My hands lifted and green beams shot out, hitting him squarely and he fell down onto the hard blacktop of the street below. He looked up at me as blood pooled around him and his eyes dimmed.

"You promised not to harm me..." he whispered, coughing slightly.

"I made no such promise!" I could hear my voice snarl distantly. I watched as our most hated enemy took his last breath, my own blood dripping down beside his prone form. As the scene swirled in my vision, I had one thought before I lost conscious.

I had killed Slade.

_Um...yeah, it's short. I did that on purpose. The other chapters won't be so short. Promise. Anyway, I hope you can kind of see the darkiness and stuff. I know Star's a bit OCC, but that's the point. It will be explained...soon...I think. Anyway, the next chapter (which I have already written) will have some Star/Robin fluff...but it will become a bit darker. cough Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are encouraged!_


	2. My Princess

**And Yet…**

_A/N: Hello again! Though I only got three reviews, I am sorry for the delayed response in updating. I have been busy preparing for a foreign exchange student (from Germany) that I am going to host. She will be here in exactly seven days. It's super cool! I'm so excited! Anyway, my updates are going to be sporadic for a bit, so as a present, I'm going to give you two chapters at once. I would still love it if you review too though…_

_Tell you what. If you are one of the first five people to update (that's besides the ones I already have, so that would make it first 8 reviews) I will do anything you ask, but you must ask it in the review. I'm so review deprived! Have you seen how many reviews I have for other stories? By the way, I would like to personally thank tiffany, candy clouds (yeah, I shortened you name…it's really long!), and Kremlin (Your name makes me think of a Sesame Street spoof where Big Bird calls Kermit 'Kremit'. Thanks for making my day!) for updating. You all get a favor, as long as you tell me in your next review, no matter when you review! (Though it has to be under this story)._

_Onto the story!_

**_Chapter Two: My Princess_**

"Starfire?" came a familiar voice. My eyes fluttered opened and I saw Raven's violet orbs staring back at me, slight anxiety evident in their depths. The three male Titans stood behind her, and relief washed over all of their tense bodies. I could feel my head throbbing and put a hand to it slowly. All four pairs of eyes watched me with concern, but it was the green skinned boy...well man, as were all in our late teens now, that was the first to speak.

"Are you okay Star?" he asked worriedly. I let the hand on my head trail down to my damaged side, where there was a large bandage around my entire stomach.

"I...do not know. I am not sure of the last thing I remember. My head and my side pain me at the moment."

"You...don't remember the last thing that happened? Are you sure?" asked Robin, his eyes intent on mine. Raven looked at him sharply and Beast Boy elbowed him in the side. Cyborg was the only one who frowned at me.

"What is the last thing you remember?" he asked me. I hesitated before saying,

"We had received a message regarding Slade and we were going to battle him. Were we victorious?" I asked hopefully, my mind clouded on the outcome of our battle.

"Yeah, Star, we were..." came Beast Boy's cheerful voice, though it was a false cheerfulness. A shadow crossed Robin's face and I blinked in confusion. Cyborg looked away now and Raven looked at me carefully.

"What is wrong friends?" I asked nervously. I had the intense feeling that I was missing something very important.

"You killed Slade," stated Raven bluntly. I felt as if a cold chunk of ice had fallen into my stomach.

"I did no such thing." I said, a bit desperately. Because as I said this, the memory of what I had done was resurfacing. Beast Boy looked at me, smiling with falseness again.

"Hey, Star, it's cool. You killed Slade! Now we don't have to worry about him anymore!" I knew he was lying, as everyone's faces and Beast Boy's eyes told me. The memory flashed in my mind.

"I do not understand why I killed him..."

"Well, he stabbed you, then tossed you aside, and he was about to jump away when you flew at him and-"

"No friend Beast Boy, I know what happened, I do not understand why I killed him...I remember an incredible feeling of anger that surrounded me. I felt as if I was not really me..." I looked around, trying to make them understand. It was Raven's face that showed sympathy and I focused in on her. "Perhaps it was because of my injury and that I wished to punish him. Or that I did not wish for him to get away." She nodded slightly but no one else responded. I felt confused about what I had done. And very much alone.

The atmosphere around the tower was very cold and stale after I had awakened. I sometimes wandered up to the roof at night, so that I could view the stars, but not encounter any other member of my team. I was up there one such night, two days after killing Slade, gazing at the stars, when I was interrupted.

"Hey Starfire..." I turned to see Robin walking towards me. He took a seat next to me and stared up at the sky. "Nice night huh?"

"Yes." I answered slowly, adjusting my position slightly so I could watch him. I would have like to have my knees drawn and my head resting on them, but with my injury to my side, this was not possible.

"Look, Star...I..." He stopped, glancing at me, as if I could fill in what he was trying to say with so few words.

"I am sorry that I took your chance away to destroy your most hated enemy." I mumbled, looking away quickly. I was sorry. I had not wished to kill Slade. If anyone was to kill him, it was to be Robin. We all knew this. I knew this. I did not understand why I had not left Slade alone.

"Oh hell, Star. I know you are. I know you were caught up in the moment. He..." The masked eyes traveled down to my bandaged side and I nodded to him. "But...Star, I didn't think you were the...killing type. To be honest."

"I did not think so either." I paused before continuing. "You were going to let him get away..." I had a flash of me screaming, 'I made no such promise!' and whispered, "You made a promise not to harm him."

"Star, I had to. I couldn't let him..." He heaved a sigh and looked at me, his eyes clouded with emotion. "We- The Titans have been through so much. We...have to remain a team." He suddenly shook his head violently. "That was stupid. I'm sorry Star. What I meant was...I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting you any more. It was all you. Truthfully...I wouldn't have hesitated so much with any other Titan." There was silence and I searched his eyes, trying to see if he was telling the truth. "But I would not want to put any Titan in danger of course." He quickly tried to correct himself.

"I know." I whispered.

"Star...After you shot at Slade and he died, then you fainted and I thought you had died too. Raven said you lost a lot of blood. I had never been so scared in my life." He moved closer to me, his eyes locked on mine. "I can't lose you Star..." His voice was soft and low. I felt a jolt go through me, tingling down my spine and I smiled slightly.

"I am glad you feel that way...I would not wish to lose you also. We are friends Robin." His eyes suddenly darkened savagely and he leaned forward sharply, pushing me to the ground, his arms on either side. I gasped.

"Dammit! That's the problem Starfire. I can't just be your friend anymore." His eyes remained on mine. I trembled under his heated gaze.

"Robin-"

"Star, do you know what I was thinking that night when I thought you had _died_ for a moment? I was thinking, 'I didn't get a chance you tell her. I didn't get to tell her that-'" He stopped and closed his eyes a moment. "I wanted to resurrect Slade and kill him again slowly and painfully for hurting you, for killing you." He said between clenched teeth. "I wanted to yell at every one of the Titans, asking them why they hadn't tried to save you. I wanted to yell at myself for not trying to save you, for just standing there stupidly and saying that I wouldn't touch Slade." He sighed again, eyes still closed. "I'm the leader of the Teen Titans. I'm supposed to know what to do in every situation. I made that stupid promise as the leader of the Titans..." He eyes suddenly snapped open, staring at me fervently and I sucked in my breath. They were so pained. I wanted to just...take it all away. To apologize profusely for causing him so much anguish. "Never so much did I want to be your knight in shinning armor. I just wanted to...slay the dragon and save the princess." He reached out to touch my face tenderly. "My princess."

"Robin..." I said, my voice choked with tears. He bent forward gradually, covering my lips with his own. I relaxed slightly and kissed back, my eyes flickering shut. The waves of happiness that rolled through me were almost unbearable. I was unsure as to why. After all, was this not what I had wanted for a long time? He deepened the kiss and I acquiesced, shifting to give him easier access. A stab of pain went through me and I whimpered. Robin pulled back, looking at me with worry.

"Star?" he asked. I could feel a couple tears falling down my face and I winced as I tried to sit up, but failed. Robin looked me over quickly and froze when he saw my side. "Oh Star...we reopened your stab wound." He sighed for the third time that night and sat up. I liked how he said 'we', even though it was my fault, not his at all. He stood suddenly, and I thought he was going to leave me when he reached down and lifted me into his arms carefully, starting inside. "I have to bring you to Raven now. She'll be pretty unhappy with me." He winked at me and I smiled faintly.

"I am sorry Robin. I am getting blood on your clothes..." He laughed roughly and I looked at him with puzzlement.

"It doesn't matter Star. It's okay." He kissed me quickly on the forehead before heading downstairs to find our resident healing goth.

"Oh great Robin. Now I have to sew it up again. How am I supposed to heal Starfire's wound if keeps getting mysteriously reopened?" The demonic member of the Titans glared at Robin and he smiled sheepishly.

"I didn't try to reopen them. I promise Raven. She'll be okay, right?"

"Yes yes, as long as you refrained from 'rough housing', or whatever it was you were doing." she replied darkly, her glowering eyes hinting at the fact that she might already know what Robin and I were doing. I flinched as she started to remove the bandage. "Okay, Star. You'll want some anesthetic, right? Sewing this up will be painful, and you aren't unconscious this time." Robin looked at her, stricken.

"You didn't give her anesthetic the first time?" He frowned "She could have woken up during the procedure." Raven actually smirked at him.

"Nah, that wouldn't have happened while I was here." She glanced back at me. "So, anesthetic? Or does Miss Alien want to bear the pain and look strong in her Slade killing mightiness?" My eyes widened as Robin turned away sharply.

"I'll be outside." He mumbled, and left quickly. I sighed and nodded slightly to Raven.

"Yes please..." I whispered and closed my eyes, replaying what happened on the roof in my head. I vaguely remembered Raven putting something over my mouth and asking me something about counting backwards from ten. I do not know if I did so, but I know that the last thing I remember hearing is what Robin called me on the rooftop.

"My princess."

(_Lil' quick author's note here. Um, I know that the Titans probably wouldn't have anesthetic and stuff, but first of all, it works for the plot, and second of all, understand that they're around the ages of 17-18-19 (depending on whose the oldest and stuff) so just…bear with me. Lets say Raven got really interested in healing, doctoring, and stuff…um…yeah. Back to the story!)_


	3. She Woke Up?

**And Yet…**

_A/N: Welcome again, as I said, I would present you with the next part along with second. So here you are. Enjoy, while I madly clean my house for my German exchange student. I may update soon. Hopefully. Reviews do make it go faster though. Tee hee. Enjoy!_

_**Chapter Three: She Woke Up?**_

I was standing on the edge of a roof. On the roof across from me stood Robin, reaching out to me. I leaned forward, about to fly over to him when a hand went around me and I was pulled back sharply. I looked up to see a flash of copper as a hollow laugh filled my ears.

"You don't think you would get away so easily my dear Starfire, did you?" The voice was one I knew well and I felt a piecing pain from my side. Looking down, I could see nothing wrong with my side. "You don't understand the knife I used…but that is quite all right. You soon will." The harsh laugh rang out again and I struggled, trying to reach Robin who was gazing sorrowfully at me.

"Star!"

My eyes snapped open and were met with the concerned dark green eyes of Beast Boy. I blinked in confusion, having no idea where I was.

"Beast Boy?" I mumbled unsurely. He smiled slightly.

"Yeah, hey are you okay? You were squirming and moaning in your sleep." He looked a bit sheepish and I put a hand to my head, rubbing it.

"I am not sure. I believe I had a mare of night."

"Nightmare? Oh, I'm sorry Star. Are you okay now?"

"I think I am. It was about Slade." Beast Boy settled down in the chair next to my bed, nodding to me.

"You want to tell me?"

"He…said that I did not understand the knife."

"What knife?"

"I am assuming that he means the knife that he had stabbed me with." I motioned to my re-bandaged slide.

"Oh. Should we…tell Robin?" he asked nervously.

"I do not think we have reason enough to bother him about Slade. He is dead."

"If you think so Star…" said Beast Boy hesitantly. I shifted slightly, sitting up and stretching. Beast Boy leaned back in his chair, looking up at my star speckled ceiling, which he had helped me paint. I swung my feet down to the cold floor of my room. Beast Boy looked back at me nervously. "I don't know whether you should be out of bed Star. Rae said to watch you and make sure you don't move around to much."

"Have you been the only one watching me?"

"No, we've taken turns. Though, to be honest, Robin's probably been in here the most. I've been in here a lot though too." He beamed at me and I smiled. "Ah, there's the smile I've been looking for. Now, just go back to sleep."

"I am afraid to have another mare of night…" I said, still sitting on the edge of the bed. "Will you stay here with me?"

"Sure Star."

"I do not understand why I killed Slade. I am afraid of the anger that I felt when I committed to horrendous deed."

"We've all feel angry. It's a natural emotion, Star. Don't worry about it. It's okay for you to be angry, Star. He did stab you and we have been trying to stop him for years."

"No, you do not understand friend Beast Boy. It was very deep and dark anger. Something that I have not experienced, ever. I am very much afraid of it. It is not me."

"That's true, anger doesn't suit you Star." He smiled at me condescendingly and I sighed. "I think that unnatural joy that always seems to come off you in waves is much more fitting." This time he grinned and I managed a quiet giggle.

"You always know how to make me happy again, Beast Boy." He winked at me.

"Of course. And you're the only one who always laughs at my jokes."

I stood abruptly, planning to go to the kitchen to get something to drink and stumbled a bit. Beast Boy was immediately on his feet.

"Star…I don't think you should be stan-" I waved my hand at him and took a step forward.

And toppled straight onto his chest. He was wearing a loose button up shirt, slightly opened and as my hands went in front of me instinctively, to slow my descent, they were met with smooth cloth and a tuft of soft green fur.

Deep green eyes met light green and sparks flew.

"Star…" he mumbled, his voice low. I shuddered slightly.

"Yes?" I murmured, caught up in the moment. There was a section of my mind that was trying to inform me of something I had forgotten, but I ignored it and it remained forgotten.

Until there was a brief, quiet knock and the door to my room flew open.

Robin stood framed in the doorway, pensive for but a moment.

Then his eyes narrowed and the atmosphere of the room became suddenly cold. I could feel Beast Boy tense and I stared at the leader of the Titans, feeling strangely removed from the situation. I did not move away from the green furred chest I had fallen onto.

"What is going on here?" Came Robin's voice, and though it was also low, his was a dangerous growl while Beast Boy's had been a sensuous rumble. I could fell the young man above me wince.

"It's not what it looks like." The changeling squeaked fearfully. I remained passive, but finally removed myself from Beast Boy's arms, stepping back and gazing upon the scene laid before me. Robin glanced at me for only an instant, before looking back at Beast Boy sharply.

"Oh really? Care to explain? Wasn't I supposed to be immediately informed when Starfire woke up?"

"Um. She woke up?"

"Too late now, BB."

"Well, she woke up, complained about a nightmare, so I was trying to cheer her up before I went to tell you and Rae. So um…I was going to tell you when she just stood up and tried to walk. I told her not to!" He looked at me for conformation, but I kept my eyes on Robin, only glimpsing Beast Boy's silent plea out of the corner of my eye. He groaned before saying, "So she took a pretty shaky step forward and fell right onto me. Then you opened the door. Nothing happened!" Robin looked quite unconvinced. "I know she's yours, okay? I'm not stupid!" I remembered his intense green gaze and husky voice and wondered if Beast Boy really did know.

My masked knight finally turned to me and frowned deeply.

"Star? Is that all true?" I remained still, watching Robin calmly before I whispered,

"Of course it is. Beast Boy would not lie. And I would not betray you." I suddenly felt sucked back into the situation with those words and guilt hit me like a hammer of sledge. But I managed to look at him and feign hurt in my eyes. Robin blinked at me and looked back at Beast Boy, annoyed.

"Alright. I'll buy that. For now." Suddenly the alarm warning of evil in the city went off and I flinched. Robin cursed and muttered something inaudibly. "Come on, let's go." He disappeared down the hall and Beast Boy and I exchanged a glance.

"Star…" the fervor had been replaced by pain and I smiled sadly at him.

"It is okay, friend Beast Boy. Robin said that he understands. It was an accident. I am sorry for falling on you. I should have listened." I moved to follow Robin, walking quickly. But not quickly enough to miss the changeling's next statement.

"Friend? Yeah. Accident? Yeah right. I definitely felt more than an accident there, Starfire."

I believe I chose wisely to not respond.

_Yaysies! I hope I'll be able to update soon. I need to find time to write. The next chapter isn't done yet. Any insights are appreciated!_


	4. Trust Factors and Guilt Cats

_A/N: Hey...I would normally make a whole bunch of apologies for being so slow in updating, but I did have an exchange student staying with me from Germany. And I got...one review? Maybe. I'm not even sure if I got that. If you guys don't like this story, that's fine. I've got other fanfics I could be working on. So, this might be my last chapter unless I get some real reviews. Which is too bad since I have up to chapter 8 typed on my computer and ready to be posted. Oh well. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Enjoy and review. Or...as you seem to be doing, don't. I'm a hippie and I'm naked cause...I smoked all my clothes!  
_

_(Um…I'm switching to third person now. It's easier for the next couple chapters. I'll probably switch back to Starfire's view in a little bit…but this chapter and the next will definitely be third. Hope that's okay!)_

_**Chapter Four: Trust factors and guilt cats**_

The Titans returned to the Tower after the easy fight with some criminal not even worth mentioning. What was worth mentioning was the tenseness that was highly evident between Robin and Beast Boy. They both fell back on their own ways of calming down, Beast Boy: video games, and Robin: the training room. Cyborg went to play with Beast Boy and Raven retreated to her room after giving Robin and Beast Boy an annoyed glance Well, Robin got an annoyed glance. Beast Boy got more of an annoyed looked underlain with hurt. Before she left to the secluded darkness of her room for the night, she paused to talk to Starfire in the kitchen.

"Starfire? I think I need to talk to you."

"Why is that Raven?" asked the Tameranean warily, sitting on a counter delicately. Raven preferred to remain standing.

"Something happened with you and Robin. Involving Beast Boy." Anyone closely paying attention would be able to hear the way Raven bit off the words 'involving Beast Boy.' But Starfire was not paying such attention.

"It was a misunderstanding. I was a bit wobbly after my awakening and stumbled into a…certain position that made Robin think something that was truly incorrect. But I believe it should be fine quite soon." Raven frowned, knowing Starfire was avoiding saying something.

"Okay…maybe you should explain it clearly to Robin. He is the jealous type. And I would prefer Beast Boy not be 'beaten to a pulp'." Starfire had comprehension hit her face for a moment after Raven spoke and she smiled slightly.

"Ah. I will make sure that does not happen. I will explain to Robin what truly happened. Thank you friend Raven." The gothic girl nodded and walked off to her cave of a room, Starfire choosing to head to the training room.

She entered the room, still not exactly sure what she was going to 'explain' to Robin, but hoping all would flow smoothly. She had forgotten to knock and stopped upon seeing Robin, shirtless, attacking a large punching bag viciously. Trying to control her blush, she stepped into the room. The alien girl could hear 'Beast Boy' coupled with nasty curses occasionally. She stood near the 'Boy' Wonder silently watching, wincing when he cursed and hit the bag, which she was starting to suspect was a stand in for the poor green changeling. She crept slowly closer to him until she was a little behind him. Wondering why he hadn't sensed her yet, she was about to cough to alert him of her presence, when he turned to deliver a roundhouse kick to the punching bag. His foot was raised, knee bent and about to collide with the green-eyed girl's stitched stomach. He froze about an inch from the injury and looked at the alien wide-eyed.

"Starfire. What are you doing here? Why didn't you say something? I could have hurt you!" He dropped his leg immediately and stepped closer. Starfire bit her lip.

"I am sorry. I was going to cough to alert you of my presence…I did not wish to disturb you but…it seems that you have not quite actually done the given of for with Beast Boy." Robin frowned slightly.

"No. I haven't forgiven BB." Starfire was surprised at how easily he just said that about his friend.

"But…Robin, Beast Boy did not do what you suspect of him."

"Yes he did." gritted out the leader of the Titans savagely.

"He did not try to 'do anything' with me! I promise you! I just fell!" She said, getting a bit angry. Robin blinked at her in surprise.

"Star…I'm mad at him because he was just talking to you instead of telling me you woke up. I was worried. I wanted to be told the moment you opened your eyes. Everyone knew that, especially Beast Boy. _That's_ why I'm mad Starfire. I don't think Beast Boy did anything else. I trust you. Maybe not him at the moment…but you. You would tell me if anything happened."

"Yes…" murmured Starfire, hiding her guilt. "But…there is no need to be so harsh. Beast Boy is very sorry, I am sure. He did not mean to delay in the informing of you…" She sighed heavily and looked at her feet. Robin smiled suddenly.

"You are so nice Star…I don't think anyone is as caring as you are." He moved closer and put his arms around her gently. She leaned against him, shivering at the feeling of her cheek on his bare chest.

"I do not think I am so nice. I do not feel like the most caring person either. But perhaps I cannot understand it myself." He kissed the top of her head and Star sighed contentedly.

"Only someone who's really nice would say that." He replied, laughter in his voice. Starfire allowed herself a small smile before remembering what had happened not too much earlier.

_"Friend? Yeah. Accident? Yeah right. I definitely felt more that an accident there, Starfire." _The orange skinned girl winced as Beast Boy's words floated back to her.

"Please...Robin...you should not remain angry with Beast Boy. I...was talking and told him not to tell you quite yet, until I had finished. Then I wished to stand and tell you myself. It is not his fault at all. It is mine."

"Starfire, I'm not a particularly trusting person...the Titans, and Batman, are probably the only people I really, really trust. It's takes a lot to get me to trust people, but it evaporates easily. I'm not sure I trust Beast Boy completely anymore. Even though he swears, and you swear, that he didn't do anything...I don't know if I can...just let it go. Besides, Beast Boy didn't do anything too bad, I guess. He'll earn the trust back easily. It's not like he went behind my back to make out with you, right?" Robin said, half-joking. But there was some seriousness to his gaze and Starfire smiled back nervously.

"No, we did not participate in the making of out. I swear." He didn't seem to understand the nervousness, and relief washed over his face.

"Well then, problem solved. Don't worry Star, I trust you, you haven't done anything to betray me." He gave her a sincere smile, leaned down, and kissed her lightly, affectionately. Starfire didn't really respond, battling with her guilt, but the kiss was so short that Robin didn't notice. Then he moved away, picking up a shirt he had carelessly discarded and flipping it over his shoulder. Starfire watched him silently. He turned, grinning at her.

"I'm going to take a shower. Unless you want to join me, I'll see you at dinner, right?" Starfire managed to giggle. "No, I'm serious. If you want to join me, you can." She shook her head, still smiling slightly as he winked and exited the room.

And she was left alone with the guilt.

It was like a persistent cat, winding about her legs and she frowned, rushing out of the room abruptly, as if fleeing. She an a possible idea of how to get rid of the stupid 'cat'.

But it was not one of Starfire's brightest ideas.

She scribbled a note, left it in the deserted kitchen, and headed out onto the streets of Jump City.

When Robin entered the kitchen, he found Raven reading a piece of paper on a counter. She paused and blinked, then got her far away look that meant she was searching for someone. Her eyes flickered and she spun around, about to run off when she saw Robin.

"What did you do?" Were the first words out of her mouth, a low nasty growl. The young man stared at her in surprise.

"What do you mean? Is it my turn to cook dinner and I forgot?" He said, smiling widely. Raven gazed back darkly, brandishing the note.

"No, Boy Blunder. This note is from Starfire." He tilted his head in confusion.

"Okay?" he replied slowly, not comprehending.

"She left a note saying she was going into the city and might possibly not be back until late tonight. As in, not here for dinner."

"Where did she say she was going?"

"She didn't, but I sensed for her...and got a little bit into her mind."

"Raven." said Robin darkly.

"Wait to yell at me until you hear what I found out."

"This had better be good."

"It's not. It's bad." Raven hesitated a moment, but the glowering stare Robin was giving her told her she should continue. "Well…she's in a bar…"

"What?" cried Robin, spinning around and heading for the door.

"Wait Robin! You should know she isn't herself!" the half-demon sighed as Robin disappeared out the door and into the night. "Okay…well, I suppose the fastest way to get our Alien member back would be to send Robin after her when she's at a bar…I just hope he gets to her in time."

_A/N: I don't know what you guys think, but lets see if you can guess where I'm going with this. NO ONE WILL! I'll bet 100 hundred dollars! I'm so awesomely creative! Anyway...um...sorry._


	5. Drunk On Love?

_A/N: Um...I only got two reviews. Thank you very much, **Dragonfire **__and **HyperSchitzoGirls. **Oh, and CandyClouds, if you're reading this, in the next chapter you'll find out about the knife! And as a present, just for you ; ) I'm posting the next chapter too. You are my..."most faithful reviewer". Two out of six isn't bad! Anyway, everyone else, I hope you hope the double dose of my fic!  
_

_**Chapter Five: Drunk On…Love?**_

Starfire sat of the stool of The Shooting Star. She didn't really know what a bar was, but the glowing letters had enticed her. Especially with what they spelled out. Though she wasn't 21, she was let in because she was a Titan. They were allowed practically everywhere. She had gone through four Sprites, to the silent amusement of the bartender, while contemplating what she should tell Robin, if anything. Maybe she could just remain quiet and he would never know. The cat of guilt was curled up at her feet, but Starfire liked to think that if she forgot about the incident, it would go away.

Not likely.

Three large and burly looking men approach her and sat down.

"Hello there, muffin." said one of them, a beefy muscular man who looked to be about 25. Another was really skinny and short and looked a bit like a weasel. The last was large, fat, with small unintelligent eyes that raked over the Titan quickly.

"Greetings…" mumbled Starfire, still wrapped up in her problem.

"What are you drinking there?" asked the beefy leader.

"Sprite…"

"Really?" He replied, smirking. "Well, I'm sure I could whip up something better. Hey, bartender, scotch and soda over here!" After receiving the glass of liquid, he offered it to Starfire ceremoniously.

"What…is it?"

"Well, aren't you precious, cupcake! It's a drink. I'm sure it isn't very different from your Sprite. After all, they both have soda, right? Drink up!" Starfire hesitantly sipped the strange drink. She wasn't sure if she really liked it, but it certainly gave her a nice buzz. After her fourth one, the man (who said his name was Derek, but did not provide names for his companions) convinced her to try a drink he called a "twister", which made Starfire think of a movie Beast Boy had made them all watch. The swirling cloud had scared the Tameranean and she remembered burying her face in Robin's shoulder at least twice.

This brought back the cat.

But only for a moment, as the alcohol seemed to have partially drowned the poor guilt feline.

She drank half of this drink called "twister" and felt very floaty. Soon the three men (especially the one called "Derek") were acting very friendly.

It was at one such time, when he was trying to liberate her of her blouse that another Titan entered the bar…

TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Robin was way over the speed limit on his motorcycle, careening down the street, cursing himself for not keeping a better eye on Starfire. Although…he hadn't really done anything wrong, our dear Boy Wonder liked to blame himself in many matters pertaining to a certain redhead. He realized in his mad dash that he had no idea where Starfire was and stopped to flip open his communicator and locate the alien's signal. It was coming from a dingy bar named "The Shooting Star" and Robin resumed his race against time.

He parked outside the front of the glowing sign and stormed in the doors. His sharp gaze immediately found Starfire and…her…"guests". Who were most definitely getting beaten to a pulp by Robin for what they were attempting to do to a very wasted Starfire. Her eyes were unfocused and she was chattering incoherently, though it seemed quite obvious that she was uncomfortable with these men trying to removed her clothing. Robin made his way quickly over to the bar, stopping behind the leader of the group of men.

"Excuse me…" He said icily. Starfire was the first to look at him, and she smiled brightly as the three men turned to see who was bothering them.

"Hello Robin." slurred Starfire cheerily, not even attempting to cross her arms over her open blouse.

"Who the hell is this, cupcake?" asked Derek frowning as the other two got to their feet menacingly. Robin didn't even blink.

"I think the lady needs to come with me." growled the leader of the Titans. Derek laughed roughly.

"Right, I don't think so. My friends here will be sure of that."

"Okay, if you want to play that way, it's fine, but lets finish this outside." The other three agreed, and the "happy little group" moved outside into the alley. The only thought that crossed Starfire's thick syrupy mind was why did that Derek guy keep calling her by pastry names. She had introduced herself at some point, hadn't she? The poor redhead couldn't remember and her knight was preparing to take on three thugs for her drunken heart.

Robin easily beat down the small weasel-like one. The fat one took a bit more effort, but still was rather easy for the former sidekick of Batman. At last, the only one left was Derek. Starfire watched with clouded eyes as the two men circled one another slowly.

Suddenly there was a flash of metal.

Derek had pulled a gun and was aiming it directly at Robin. Starfire's eyes cleared, widening quickly. Robin stared at the criminal, frowning.

"Well, you aren't really fighting fair are you?"

"Is that girl worth your life?" snarled Derek, advancing. Robin gave a low chuckle.

"That's a rather stupid question." He met Starfire's eyes and the electricity shot through the intoxicated girl, burning the fuzziness in her mind. "Of course she is." She shrieked and raised her arms as Derek started to squeeze the trigger.

A flash of green.

Nothing.

_A/N: Hey, just to let you all know, the Derek guy is named after one of my ex-boyfriends! If he's somehow reading this and knows who I am, um...all I can say is...you derserve every bit! I love everyone else though! Review!_


	6. You Killed The One I Love!

_A/N: So, um, here's the bonus chappie! Um...if you're reading this A-babe...I uh...will work on ArtOS...once you help me with my writer's block! Anyone else who knows me personally, thanks for your...support and stuff...gosh. I just realized I sound like this is my last chapter. It isn't...I hope. I need enough reviews to encourage me still...or just a couple really nice one. Anyway, enjoy and stop reading my rambling. I mean it. Now. Read. Oh, and review please!**  
**_

_**Chapter Six: You killed the one I love!**_

Raven flinched as the girl on the bed next to her yawned loudly. The goth had been entranced by her book and tore her gaze from the pages to glance at the girl lying on the purple sheets.

Starfire opened her eyes slowly and stretched, arching like a cat. She looked over at Raven and smiled.

"Hello. I seem to be in bed very much as of late, do you not think?"

"Yeah, Star, you need to stop exerting yourself. Now, wait here while I go try to dig up lover boy. I'll bet he has his ear to the door." The other female member of the group exited the room swiftly as Starfire assumed a puzzled expression.

"Lover boy?" she thought a moment, but had absolutely no idea what Raven had been talking about. In fact, she realized, she couldn't remember the last thing that had happened to her. She couldn't remember what event had caused her to return to her place in bed. She did know she had spent a lot of time in here since she had...killed someone...

Okay, that part was fuzzy too. But no matter.

"I know my name is Starfire. That was Raven. I know that. Perhaps it will just take a moment of peace to gain the rest of my memory." The door slid open and Robin stepped into the room, looking at Starfire with relief. She stared back a moment, startled, her eyes blank. Then her green orbs narrowed and she leapt up, balled fists in front of her, glowing dangerously.

"You!" she snarled, firing a star bolt. Robin jumped to the left just in time.

"Whoa, Star, what's wrong?"

"Do not use my name of familiarness!" Another beam of green shot at the leader of the Titans, and he ducked this time.

"Raven!" he yelled into the hallway, dodging madly now. The half-demon entered the room and promptly put one of her black energy force field _(thingies...)_ around Starfire.

"What is going on here?" Starfire glared at Robin savagely as he shrugged.

"I have absolutely no idea...I came in, she said 'you!' and started firing at me. I'm really very confused right now Rae."

"Don't call me Rae..." muttered Raven before addressing Starfire "Why are you shooting at him?"

"Yeah Star, are you okay?" asked Robin in concern. The Tameranean turned a fiery gaze upon Batman's former apprentice

"You killed the one I love!" she yelled. There was silence for almost a full half minute before Raven said,

"Excuse me? I don't think I heard you right, Star."

"He, "she pointed savagely at Robin for emphasis "killed the one that I love. I must destroy him to properly perform the venging of a."

"Star..." whispered Robin unsurely, stepping closer to her. She fired a couple star bolts cruelly, but got hit herself, as the force field was still up. Falling ungracefully onto her bottom, she managed to mutter.

"I will get my revenge." Raven blinked at Starfire, the looked at Robin.

"Okay, would you like to tell what is going on?"

"You know as much as I do." said Robin, his pained eyes on the glaring girl on the floor within the black bubble of Raven's. The girl in the purple cape sighed.

"Okay then. My idea is to try and find out what is wrong with her _my_ way. But I need you to leave the room."

"Why? I'm not leaving." He said with finality. Raven sighed.

"Alright then." then she melted into the floor, reappearing within Starfire's 'cell' "Okay, Star. Now, could you be still for a moment? I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to know what happened, okay?" The alien hesitated before allowing Raven to put her hands on each one of her orange skinned temples. Raven dived into the girl's mind, digging for information. A scene popped into view.

_Starfire was standing, facing Robin, and a shadow was to her left. Robin had an expression of pure hatred on his face, much like when he was facing Slade. But he was facing Starfire, and Slade was dead. Raven wondered who the shadow was. Suddenly Robin pulled out a gun and shot the shadow and Starfire shrieked, shooting at Robin, who disappeared, before she fell to her knees next to the shadow, sobbing_. The scene vanished and Raven tried to dig deeper.

Suddenly she was forced out and fell back from the redhead, back in the real world, onto the floor within the black bubble. Starfire looked at her with blank eyes as Robin stared in with a worried expression on the very outer boundaries of the force field.

"Raven?" questioned Robin quietly. Starfire reached out to the goth, touching her shoulder lightly.

"You understand now, friend Raven? He is horrible and I must be rid of him. He is a killer!" She glowered at Robin again and he just looked back at her in bewilderment. Raven struggled to her feet and looked down at Starfire, who was still sitting.

"No...I don't understand...I don't think that was a real memory Starfire...who was that shadow that Robin shot?" The 'Boy' Wonder shook his head.

"Raven, what are you talking about? I didn't shoot anyone."

"I know you didn't Robin, that's why this memory Starfire has is confusing. And I can't get farther into her mind." She melted into the floor again, appearing beside Robin.

"What? That's weird"

"I know. Star, who's the shadow?" An expression of happiness crossed the green-eyed girl.

"My love..." she murmured.

"Who is he?" asked Robin angrily. Starfire stared fiercely back.

"You did not even know who he was before you killed him? You are truly despicable person!" She stood up suddenly and fired another star bolt, but it bounced and hit her squarely in the chest. She staggered back, clutching her side with one hand, and blood started to seep through.

"Star!" cried Robin, trying to reach for her, but he could not get through the force field. Raven cursed openly and both Starfire and Robin stared at her.

"How many times do I have to sew you up, Star? Now, you are going to promise me not to shoot Robin for now, and I will let the shield down." Starfire looked as if she was going to protest, but Raven stared her down.

"Fine. I promise." she heaved a sigh and dropped her single balled fist. The green glow disappeared and Raven dropped the bubble. Robin started to run forward, but the wise female of the team grabbed his upper arm.

"Are you crazy? She really does seem convinced that you killed someone she really cares about right now, I would _not _recommend hastening to her 'rescue'." lectured Raven. Robin frowned, but stopped and stood uncomfortably as Raven helped Starfire to the infirmary. As she passed the young man, she muttered darkly,

"This is not over yet." Robin watched her sadly as she exited the room, half floating, half leaning on Raven.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

"She did what?" said Beast Boy, hovering around Raven as she stitched up the unconscious Starfire.

"She tried to kill Robin." restated Raven calmly.

"Your kidding right? Star would never even try to _play_ fight Robin much less _kill_ him."

"I know...I think something happened...it was weird." Beast Boy suddenly had an epiphany. He remembered when Starfire woke up just two days ago.

_Her green eyes opened suddenly and he looked back at her with concern. She blinked a bit and murmured,_

_"Beast Boy?" He smiled back._

_"Yeah, hey are you okay? You were squirming and moaning in your sleep." He tried to hide a blush as he thought of the meaning of his words, but she didn't seem to notice, putting a hand to her head._

_"I am not sure. I believe I had a mare of night." She could be so cute with her ways with the English language, Beast Boy thought._

_"Nightmare? Oh, I'm sorry Star. Are you okay now?"_

_"I think I am. It was about Slade." Beast Boy moved to the chair next to her bed, nodding to show he understood why it had been a nightmare._

_"You want to tell me?"_

_"He...said that I did not understand the knife."_

_"What knife?"_

_"I am assuming that he means the knife that he had stabbed me with." She motioned to her re-bandaged side._

Beast Boy blinked a couple times as Raven gave him a funny look.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I think I know what's wrong!" he shouted loudly.

"No need to alert the entire tower. What is it?"

"When she woke up when I was watching her, she said something about having a nightmare. Where Slade said she didn't understand the knife he stabbed her with." Raven stared at the furry member of the Titans.

"Oh my god Beast Boy. I think you have actually said something intelligent. Robin made sure any sort of item, weapon or otherwise, was pulled for our collection at the scene, right? Including the knife?"

"I'm sure he did Rae! I'll go ask Cyborg!" He ran out of the room before Raven could correct him on her name. Not that she really wanted to though.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Robin slammed the top of his desk again. He was in his room, looking through files for any information on what could possibly be wrong with Starfire. No luck, and his desk had taken quite a beating. He felt miserable, and furious at whoever caused Starfire to act in such a way. Leaning back in the chair, he gazed up at the ceiling.

"What on Earth would make Starfire try to kill me? And who the hell is she thinking about, and claiming I killed? It better not be BB or something…" He didn't really think it was, but one could never tell. Especially when his princess was trying to destroy him for some unknown guy that he did not kill. She had been the one who had almost killed that Derek guy. Not that Robin would have minded, had she. But no matter, he was in the hospital now, and off to jail after that.

There was a knock at the door.

"Robin?" came Beast Boy's voice. The masked hero frowned before saying, with some annoyance.

"What?"

"Um…we may have found out something about Star…" Robin was immediately on his feet and rushed to the door, opening it quickly. The green changeling stared at him in astonishment. "Remember…the knife that Slade stabbed her with?"

"Yes." replied Robin, not bothering to react to mention of his former arch-nemesis' name.

"Raven is pretty sure it was enchanted to somehow poison Starfire's mind. So she'd think that you were…bad."

"Thank you BB." snapped Robin, brushing past him and down towards the medical area. Beast Boy follow behind quickly.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"I don't know." answered Robin honestly. "Star talked to me before going to that stupid bar, trying to convince me that you hadn't done anything really bad. She told me to not be mad at you. I'm still suspicious of course. She's too nice. She would try to protect a friend if she could…"

"She…told you not to be mad at me?"

"Yeah…why? Should I?"

"No! We didn't do anything! I swear!"

"Fine. Because I do trust her."

"Do you now?" asked the furred Titan bluntly. Robin stopped walking abruptly and spun around to face the stunned Beast Boy, who was also motionless.

"Of course I trust Starfire. Nothing will change that."

"Well…she did try to kill you."

"That was _not _Starfire. She would never do that." snarled Robin. Beast Boy raised his hands in defense.

"Okay okay, sorry."

Raven stuck her head out of the door to the medical room.

"Hey! You two, quit fighting and come look at this knife!" They entered the room quickly, Robin now pointedly ignoring Beast Boy. Cyborg was also standing in the room casually, and he gave the changeling a puzzled glance, but Beast Boy just shrugged and shook his head. The knife was laid down on a counter, still shinning with deadly light. Raven ran her hand over it delicately.

"It definitely has some mystical power to it. I wouldn't expect Slade to have something like this."

"Unless he was planning what happened to Starfire." murmured Cyborg. Raven had, of course, filled him in on the alien's attempting murdering of their leader.

"Possibly. But maybe I could trace it to whoever created it. They could tell us how to fix this strange…behavior of Starfire's."

"Or be persuaded to…" mutter Robin quietly. The other three looked at him worriedly. They hadn't seen him so agitated since his prime Slade hunting days.

Soon it was just Raven, watching over Starfire carefully when Beast Boy came in nervously.

"Rae…"

"Don't call me th- Oh. Hi Beast Boy. Do you need something?"

"Well…have you noticed how Robin's been acting lately?"

"No, I've just been blind and deaf for the past four hours." she replied sarcastically, not able to stifle her reply.

"Um…yeah, well, it's…sort of scaring me. I mean, we already have a psycho Starfire. I don't think we really need Robin to be crazy too. Plus…I think he…blames me for some strange reason."

"You? Why would he do that?"

"I have no idea. I haven't done anything besides-" He turned pink, looking down and Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Anything besides making Robin think you were trying to steal Star from him?"

"Um…you know about that, huh?"

"Yes."

"Uh, well…it was an accident."

"I know. Starfire told me. She can't lie too well."

"I know." said Beast Boy, grinning a bit. Raven let a light smile touch her face. They stood there for a moment when Raven suddenly yawned. The changeling flinched, then crossed his arms.

"Raven, you need to go to bed." He said sternly. She almost laughed right out, but stopped herself in time.

"I need to watch Starfire, to prevent her from tearing the tower apart in search for Robin."

"Heheh."

"I meant to kill him, Beast Boy."

"Right." he pasted a serious look on his face, "You should go to bed. I'll watch her for awhile."

"And you'll contain her how?"

"I'll…"

"You'll wake me up as soon as she wakes up. Just…sort of tell me telepathically. Okay?"

"Um…sure." Raven swept out of the room and Beast Boy sighed, flopping down into a chair near Starfire's bed. He glanced at her. "Hm…almost déjà vu. I hope no more déjà vu happens…Robin really will kill me next time any sort of accident happens. Whether Star's trying to kill him or not." He leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "No stars in here…"


	7. Shadowy Memories and Broomstick Skirts

_A/N: So, I'm trying to prompt in my updating. I would like to thank **Dragonfire **for the touching review. You are like my new favorite reviewer! I'm glad you like my story so much. Another thanks to **shannon, **though I won't get to your 'request' fully until the next chapter, though you will see a bit of it at the beginning of this one. _****

_Anyway, this chapter is a bit on the fluffy side. Robin gets a little...yelly. But I think he would in the situation I put him in. You'll understand. Read on!_**_  
_**

**_Chapter Seven: Shadowy memories and broomstick skirts_**

The purple clad redhead alien glanced around at her surroundings. She was in a blinding white room that the recesses of her mind registered as the infirmary. Sitting near her was the green changeling, head flung back at an awkward angle and snoring lightly. Starfire examined him for a moment, smiling slightly.

_He is rather cute when sleeping._

She froze as she felt a sudden rush of guilt that confused her until she remembered her dead love.

"I am so very sorry…" she muttered quietly, sighing heavily. She sat up slowly, so as not to disturb Beast Boy's 'short' nap. She saw a tiny fang hanging over his bottom lip and grinned, about to lick her own lips when she resumed her sanity once again.

"What is wrong with me?" she demanded of herself quietly. "Is this how I honor the memory of by deceased beloved?"

"No one's deceased Star…" came a voice from the doorway and she looked up to see Robin watching her, an exhausted expression on his face. She was about to raise glowing hands to him aggressively when he sighed and held up a single arm in a sort of 'I mean no harm' gesture. She paused, though she wasn't sure why. Her nemesis entered the room and moved next to her bed.

"Look, Star…" he was whispered, as Beast Boy was still snoring and they knew that they both wanted to keep it that way. "I know you are very confused at the moment."

"No I am not." she hissed back. "I am very much sure that you are a murderer."

"No I'm not, Star." he responded patiently.

"I wish for you to stop referring to me so familiarly."

"Okay Starfire. I'm sorry." there was some pain evident in his voice, but the Tameranean ignored it. "I want to help you remember what really happened, and who I really am. It was Slade that did this to you."

"Slade…that is the one that I killed."

"Yes."

"Because…I was angry…did he also threaten my love?" she questioned, looking down at her lavender sheets that had been put on the bed, special for her. Robin resisted the urge to curse loudly.

"No. He stabbed you. With a strange knife. Raven believes that the knife is the cause of your shadowy memories."

"My memories are not shadowy."

"Well then…What is the name of your…" Robin closed his eyes and clenched his teeth a moment before saying in a sort of strangled voice, "…love?"

"It is…" Starfire stared at him with wide eyes. "I do not remember. I have forgotten!" Her eyes began to tear up and Robin reached out to touch her face gently. She let him put a thumb to her cheek briefly, her eyes fluttering closed as he murmured,

"Star-" She suddenly jerked back violently, eyes flying open and brought her hands to face, leaving his hand in midair.

"Leave me alone! Just…go! You are lucky that I have not performed my avenging as of yet!" Robin took a deep breath and dropped his hand to his side, taking a step back. Beast Boy woke up, eyes wide and hands up in karate pose. He stared at Robin as if he were a ghost.

"Okay Starfire. But think about that. You don't remember his name. Would that be true of someone you _loved_?" asked the leader of the Titans quietly.

He exited the room and Starfire let out a quiet hiccup. Beast Boy looked at her in utter surprise.

"Um…Star? Are you okay?" She glanced at him and hiccupped again. He looked at her carefully, then at the door. "Did Robin say something mean?"

"No…" murmured the invalid, as Raven entered the room. First of all, she had heard Starfire yell at Robin, and Beast Boy had stayed true to his word and informed her telepathically immediately upon waking. Starfire's face was tear streaked and she was hiccupping in her attempt to not cry. Beast Boy got to his feet quickly and looked at Raven in confusion.

"I'm sorry Rae; I uh…just woke up to her yelling at Robin. He said something about she didn't remember some guy's name, which wouldn't be true of her 'love'." Raven nodded slightly.

"Okay. Though I thought I specifically told our Boy Blunder to stay away from Starfire for a little while…"

"Right, cause Robin would listen to you about staying away from Star." said Beast Boy, chuckling a bit. Raven nodded in agreement.

"True. Anyway, maybe you should leave for a bit. I need to check some things with her."

"Okay then. Hope you got some sleep Raven…" he asked with actual concern, looking directly at her. She smiled back at him.

"I did, actually. Thank you for watching her…" He saluted her and left the room, as she shook her head in amusement. Starfire watched the exchange, her head tilted.

"Friend Raven?"

"Yeah Star?"

"Do you…have…affectionate feelings for friend Beast Boy?" The goth stared at Starfire like a deer caught in headlights.

"No. No I do not. I do not have affectionate feelings for anyone." Starfire looked at the half-demon almost wisely.

"You should inform him of you feelings before it is too late. Like it was with my love." Raven was embarrassed for a moment before she thought about Starfire's words.

"Starfire, did you not get a chance to tell this guy how you truly felt?"

"No I did not. He was shot before I could inform him." Raven blinked as comprehension hit her. Starfire didn't have new, strange memories. The poisoned knife had somehow twisted the current memories she had so that Robin was the bad guy. The shadowy figure must really be Robin. Robin had told Raven about the Derek fiasco and how the idiot had almost shot him before Starfire had fired at him with her star bolts. Maybe the knife made it so that Starfire thought 'her love' had been killed by the gun. Raven decided to try a test.

"Hey…Starfire?"

"Yes friend Raven?"

"Um…do you remember anything about a…school dance? Going with your…" she coughed and continued, "love?" Starfire's eyes lit up.

"Oh yes." She paused a minute before continuing, "Well…he actually went with some blond chick named Catty or something. But only for a Titan's mission, so he could protect everyone. But at the end I remember I asked him for a dance and he said-even though he hated dancing with Catty- 'I guess one more dance won't kill me.' It was so…wonderful." Starfire got very…starry eyed and Raven almost smirked, a knowing look on her face.

"Ah, I see. Okay then. Um…hold on a moment. I need to tell everyone how you're doing. They're probably worried about you." Starfire nodded absentmindedly, still in her daydream 'memory'.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

"…and she remembered what _you _said exactly." Raven pointed at the Robin as all three male Titans listened to her attentively, "I think the knife isn't changing her memories completely, but twisting them so that Robin is technically still Robin, but she sees him as someone else."

"Well what can we do to fix it?" asked Cyborg curiously.

"I think I will make a little excursion to the maker and enchanter of the knife. Does anyone want to join me?" asked Raven, waiting for the leader of their group to eagerly raise his hand. But Robin remained quiet. It was Beast Boy who leaped to the opportunity.

"I will!" he clamored and Cyborg snorted, earning a glare from both Raven and Beast Boy.

"Okay. Cyborg?"

"Alright, I'll join you. Any danger?" inquired the half-robot.

"Possibly…Robin…you want to stay here?"

"Yeah." replied the masked one. Raven smiled slightly.

"To watch the one who wants to kill you because a dagger is making her think you're a shadow?" He glowered at her, but didn't respond and the goth nodded knowingly.

"Okay, so Beast Boy and Cyborg and I are off to visit the maker of this knife." She lifted a wooden box, in which the blade had been placed. The three left for the T-car as Robin sat down quietly on the couch.

"She needed to tell me how she really felt?" He frowned and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. "Great…how am I going to fix this now?"

"You may fix it by remaining still while I destroy you." Said a familiar voice from the entrance to the living room. Robin looked up from the couch and sighed heavily.

"Starfire…" he whispered huskily, staring at her with a strange expression. The alien froze from her 'attack' position at the door, looking back in surprise. She shook her head, as if clearing it, and raised her glowing fists.

"I must avenge his death!"

"Whose death?" replied Robin, standing slowly, still looking at her with a hollow expression, "Just tell me his name and I'll let you do what ever you want."

"If you do not already know, I certainly will not tell you!"

"That's because he doesn't exist! You're poisoned mind has created someone who DOES NOT EXIST." Yelled Robin, starting towards her assertively. Starfire looked at him in astonishment, trembling slightly.

"How…how can you say that? Are you saying that I am crazy? I know that he is real. Otherwise where would all of my memories of him come from!"

"They're memories of us!" he snarled, reaching her and grabbing her wrist roughly. She flinched as he pulled her closer to him, his eyes softening. "I'm sorry Star. I didn't mean to yell. I just can't stand this. You're my best friend…and more…" He suddenly looked inspired and smiled faintly. "I cannot live in a world where we must fight." Starfire gaped openly at him as the memory came rushing back.

_The shadow stood on the roof and Starfire floated above him, the other Titans lying scattered around them. She looked at him angrily. They fought and harsh words were exchanged. Finally Starfire felt defeated. She dropped her arms and said sorrowfully,_

_"I cannot live in a world where we must fight…"_

The redhead dropped her head, taking a deep breath.

"I…how could you know that?"

"Because I was the one you said that to…"

"No! You were not there! You…must have spied on us!" She tried to pull away, but Robin hung on to her tightly, wrapping his free arm around her waist.

"Star…I swear to you, I would never try to hurt you. Emotionally or physically. If you loved someone, I wouldn't kill them…" The last part Robin would have liked to think was a lie, because if Star loved anyone but him, he would like to kill the object of her affections slowly and causing great pain. But it was true. He would never try to hurt Starfire.

"I…I am hurting you now." She stated, looking up at him, as if it finally dawned on her.

"Yes." He breathed, leaning in closer. She gazed back at him, confusion still in the depths of her eyes. "But it's okay. I'll forgive you. I trust you. Even if your 'memories' say otherwise, I know you haven't done anything to betray me."

"And yet…" murmured Starfire, giving him a searching look.

"What?"

"It is strange. I do feel as if I have known you for a long time…" She swallowed thickly. "My mind tells me to kill you right now, while you are defenseless. But my heart…" She stopped and Robin smiled kindly, closing the scant distance between them quickly, capturing the confused young woman's lips in a chaste kiss. Starfire melted against him and Robin released her wrist, moving his now free arm around to cradle her neck as the kiss deepened. It was broken slowly, and as Robin pulled back ever so slightly, he could see that Starfire's eyes were closed. He practically grinned.

"Nobody is taking you away…" She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him, dazed.

"I'm not going anywhere…" Another memory floated up to the surface.

_She had been kidnapped. By people who had mistaken her for her sister. The shadow had leaped to save her, and she had the horrible thought that he hadn't made it to the ship even as he missed her foot by about an inch. But he had made it. He fought he way through the 'police' and saved Starfire. At one point he had said,_

_"Nobody's taking her away!"_

The voice was most definitely the same as the young man standing with his arms around her. She was very confused now.

Robin watched her carefully as she battle with the difference in her 'memories' and what she truly knew. She hesitated a moment before her eyes clouded and she growled slightly, practically ripping herself from Robin's grasp and stepping back, star bolts at the ready.

"You are trying to change my true remembrances! You are trying to perform the washing of my brain!" Robin cursed softly. He had been so close. If Slade weren't already dead, Robin would have most certainly made a mental note to kill him not so kindly for causing this problem with Starfire. Tears came to the girl's eyes as she stepped back, away from Robin. He looked at her mournfully, his eyes full of hurt.

"Star…"

"Do not use my name of familiarness!" She cried, before flipping around and running out of the room. Robin let out a shaky breath and leaned against the wall behind him, prior to sliding down it to the ground.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"Stop trying to hide!" bellowed Beast Boy and then he transformed into a hawk, flying around in a search. Raven was behind him, and Cyborg was across the room at the other entrance. The strange woman they had met a moment ago had disappeared, but they knew she was in the room. At least, Raven did. And the two young men trusted her knowledge. Raven frowned suddenly.

"We won't hurt you if you tell everything about this knife!" She opened the wooden box and brought out the intricately decorated blade.

"You promise?" came a trembling voice from between Beast Boy and Cyborg. The changeling wheeled around mid-flight, landing near Raven and reverting to his human form. Cyborg moved forward towards the disembodied voice.

"Yes." Replied Raven positively.

A woman appeared. She had long honey brown hair and was wearing a white tunic-like shirt, with bell-like sleeves. Her long broomstick skirt was a deep purple and she had two necklaces on. One was a long black cord with a clear crystal in a tear shape. The other came to the hollow of her throat and was a beautiful pentacle on a silver chain. Raven stared at her as the woman stood unsurely. Beast Boy blinked and Cyborg gawked at her.

"I am Audrianna."

"Nice to meet you. Did you enchant this blade for a man named Slade?" asked Raven, offering the knife. Audrianna reached for it slowly, touching it with two fingers. She winced and nodded her head.

"Yes. But I did not know his name was Slade. And I would not normally do such a thing. It is forbidden by my beliefs…"

"Then why did you do it?" demanded Cyborg. Her head turned slightly so that she was looking at Cyborg with strange violet-tinge black eyes.

"I was forced to. I am very sorry. Has it caused you much difficulty?"

"A friend of ours is being affected by the mind poison. Do you know what you enchanted it with?" questioned Raven patiently.

"The poison was to make the subject alter the most important person in their life for a non-specified other. Then a scenario is created where they wish to…kill the important person…" murmured Audrianna. "What has happened to your friend?"

"She-"

"Don't tell her Raven! We don't if we can trust her!" protested Beast Boy. The telepath waved her hands in a dismissive gesture.

"She's fine. She won't tell anyone. Her name is Starfire and she's...trying to kill a guy that she really loves," explained Raven. Beast Boy flinched at the last sentence.

"Good Goddess!" Exclaimed Audrianna, "I did not think such a thing would happen!"

"Do you know how to fix it?"

"Perhaps…I did not like the aura of this Slade you speak of. When he…forced me to craft the athame, I didn't realize its true purpose. But I did know it would be for evil. So I created a sort of…antidote." Raven was the only person in the room besides Audrianna herself that understood the strange words the Goddess worshipper was using.

"Well, could you give us the antidote?"

"What the heck is an aura? And an athame?" raised Beast Boy.

"Aura is an energy field around a person and an athame is basically a knife," clarified Raven. Audrianna looked at her in astonishment, but with admiration hidden behind the surprise.

"Yes. That is correct. Unfortunately, the antidote is not a physical object. It is something you must do."

"Tell us then," said Cyborg harshly, still not trusting the woman in strange garb.

"You must recreate memories that the subject had with the forgotten. They must be very potent memories. Like highly emotional moments. If, as you say, this girl Starfire has forgotten someone she loves, then the best solution might be a 'feelings confession'. The subject will realize who the 'shadow' _really_ is. Then all will be solved."

"We have to recreate 'potent' memories for Robin and Starfire! That's going to be impossible. Robin has never told Star how he feels. And you said that Star said that she never told 'her love' how she felt. He never lets emotions out. Except for anger and jealousy…" whined Beast Boy to Raven until she swatted his shoulder.

"Hush. We'll figure something out." She turned back to the strange woman. "Thank you for all your help."

"I'm glad I could try to correct the mistake I made. Perhaps this will balance Three-fold Law." This Raven didn't even know about, but she didn't ask as she said good-bye to Audrianna and directed the boys back outside and back to the T-car.

"That was…interesting…" said Cyborg, not bothering to mask his distain. Raven shook her head at him.

"She was very nice Cyborg. You should not judge others until you are ready to judge yourself."

"I thought she was weird…but she did seem nice," supplied Beast Boy, shrugging his shoulders. Raven smiled slightly. Now all they had to do was figure out a memory to trigger Starfire back to herself.

_A/N: Hi again! I hope you liked it. If you review for this chapter, I would like to know what you think **the best Rob/Star moment** is. To 'remind' her who Robin is again. Another thing is um...the character of Audrianna? Yeah, I sorta made her into almost me exactly...I'm serious. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'm trying to be prompt in updating! Am I doing an okay job? At least a little? Please review and let me know your opinion on **the Rob/Star moment**!_


	8. Dating and Deals

_Hello my darling readers! I am very sorry for taking so long. I'm giving you three chapters at once as an apology. This story is almost done, one or two, possibly three chapters left. I **will **finish this fanfic. Then I'll get back to ArtOS and Azuma oyobi Nishi...(which I think needs a new name). Please enjoy the fanfic!  
_

_**Dragonfire: **I luv you so much! You are my # 1 reviewer! I used your suggestion, as you'll see! Three cheers for the best reviewer of my story!_

_**  
SpitfireF.22: **(I hope I got your name right!) I love that moment too, and ended up using it! Thank you for reviewing!_

_**Neko Starfire: **I haven't used your idea...yet. But I will! I think...if I do not, I'm sorry!_

_**ss: **I hope that I never stop writing too! That's what I'm planning on making a career out of! But thank you for the self-esteem boost! I doubt it's really the **best **story out there._

**_ultimateromantic: _**_I might actually do one or two of your ideas. I love homework distractions! But don't flunk...that would only make trouble...and don't accuse me!_

_**KatyRose: **I know, I haven't seen an episode in awhile either! I'm trying to update until the end! I have a couple friends who are highly encouraging!_

_**hi: **Thanks a lot!_

****

**_Chapter Eight: Dating and Deals_**

Starfire sat on the bed in her room, looking up at the stars on her ceiling. She smiled faintly as the face she was always reminded of with the shinning dots appeared in her mind. He had been so nice and helpful when she wanted to paint it. She remembered that her love didn't really want to help, but he did supply the paint and a step ladder. Raven and Cyborg definitely didn't want to help, so that only left her favorite changeling.

Her favorite changeling. Star closed her eyes and sighed almost dreamily

He was now standing in her doorway.

"Star? You okay? I mean besides the whole Robin being 'evil' thing." Her eyes shot open and she looked at him, breaking into a grin.

"Friend Beast Boy! I was only doing the reflecting on the painting of my ceiling that you assisted me with."

"Oh yeah, that was a lot of fun." He smiled at her in return. "Well, glad to see you're doing better…" He started to turn away when Starfire suddenly said,

"Beast Boy!" He stopped and turned to look back at her.

"Yeah?"

"Would you…would you like accompany to the park this evening? Just us if you would not mind. Must I perform the requesting of please?" Beast Boy stared at her a moment as she gave a dazzling, charming smile.

"Um…I…uh, sure Star," he stuttered, shifting uncomfortably a bit. Starfire jumped to her feet.

"Oh great joy! I must go prepare!" She disappeared into her room's bathroom and Beast Boy watched the closed door for a moment before stepping out of her room and letting the entrance slide shut. He stood a moment before slapping his forehead.

"Shoot! How do I get myself into these things! Robin is going to kill me!"

"Why is he going to kill you?" asked Raven, appearing next to the green furry member of the Titans. He sighed heavily.

"I just agreed to go to the park with Starfire tonight."

"Okay. What's the problem then?"

"I think…she seemed to be emphasizing the part where it's 'just us'."

"Oh," replied Raven, frowning slightly. Beast Boy looked at her like a scared bunny rabbit.

"I couldn't turn her down."

"Well…we could use this to our advantage. You can keep her from killing Robin, while we try to figure out a good memory to recreate and fix everything with."

"Except the emotional scars…" muttered Beast Boy.

"Oh, Star and Robin will be fine."

"I meant mine…" Raven rolled her eyes, but there was a twinkle behind her annoyed expression as Beast Boy continued, "The trick will be getting Robin to agree…I don't think he really wants me to be alone with Starfire at all."

"Are we required to tell him that you two are going on a sort of…date?" the last word came out a little slower than the rest, but the goth managed it. Beast Boy stared at her silently a moment, a pondering look on his face.

"Um…hm. Guess not. But…Rae…are you okay with the whole…'date' cover?"

The empath hesitated before nodding her head.

"Yeah, it's okay. It's not a real date."

"Who's going on a date?" asked a voice from their left. Turning they were met with the masked eyes of Robin. They looked back at him, stupefied, when Beast Boy suddenly said.

"Raven and I. But she said it's not a real date." He blurted out. Raven glanced at him with surprise, as did Robin.

"You two? That's cool." He grinned, "Finally. Have fun you guys!" Then he continued down the hall as Beast Boy turned red and looked at the floor nervously.

"Uh…sorry Rae, I had to come up with something beside Star and I going somewhere."

"T-that's okay." Stuttered Raven, most likely for the first time in her life." It was a good cover…" Beast Boy suddenly looked up, directly at her.

"Just…to let you know…it…doesn't have to be a cover…if you don't want…" He blushed darker and Raven turned a faint pink.

"Beast Boy! Are you ready for our walk?" asked Starfire, interrupting the moment abruptly. The other two spun to face her in surprise. Raven looked embarrassed, but slightly annoyed while Beast Boy looked sheepish and scared.

"Um…yeah, I guess I am." He replied and Raven frowned, but nodded when he looked at her questioningly. Starfire snatched his arm and practically forced him out of the Tower.

Robin thought about what Raven had told him when she returned from finding out information on the knife. He seriously regretted having not told Starfire how his felt now. He knew he loved her. He wasn't sure if she felt the same way, but it looked like he might never know how she had truly felt. He was racking his brain for some memory that was 'potent' enough to trigger Star to finally remember him. And he was doing a pretty sucky job so far.

"Maybe…if I just try to talk to her again." He headed off to find her, with hope in his heart.

There was no answer when he knocked on her door and he frowned, wondering where she could be. Wandering into the kitchen, he came across Raven in the hallway, her nose in a book.

"You think you should sit down with that? I mean, how do you see where you're going?" he asked and the girl looked up.

"I didn't run into you did I?" she questioned and he shook his head, "See? I don't need to sit down. And you don't need to constantly boss people around, Boy Blunder."

"Have you seen Star?"

"Ah." Her eyes flickered slightly and she lowered her book, causing Robin to raise an eyebrow.

"'Ah' what?"

"She's…out."

"Out where?"

"At the park I think…" murmured the goth unsurely.

"Okay then. Thanks Raven." He turned to leave when Raven jumped forward and grabbed his shoulder shouting,

"Wait!" The masked boy turned and stared at her in surprise.

"Um…is there a problem?"

"She wants to be alone. She needs to be alone. You should let her be alone." Said Raven in a rush.

"Okay…you're acting a bit peculiar Raven. Something you want to tell me?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes." She responded without thinking.

"Go ahead."

"I…I…Star-…Beast Boy…" stuttered Raven, her eyes wide as her thoughts flew about. She was never nervous like this. What was her problem? She didn't really care if Robin got jealous right? Right. But she did care if the Boy Wonder would want to hurt the green changeling…

"What about Beast Boy?" demanded Robin, his eyes darkening.

"I think I like Beast Boy." Raven blurted out. The approaching fury disappeared from Robin's face, replacement by amusement.

"Oh? Well then. I'm not really surprised. Didn't he say you guys had a date earlier? I thought that you two would be on it right now."

"Um. Yes. It's not until…later. But…it was just supposed to be a friendly thing. I am not very good with these emotional things."  
"Not to be mean, Raven, but you're talking to the wrong person. I suck at emotional stuff too. I mean, look what's going on with Starfire. I can't think of a good 'potent' memory…"

"Maybe…you'll help me if I help you?" asked Raven without thinking again. She paused as Robin gaped at her. Then she smiled slightly. It actually sounded like a good plan. "Yes. I'll help you find a good memory to recreate, and help you recreate it, if you help me…with Beast Boy."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'll think of something. Deal?" she prodded. He pondered a moment before nodding slowly.

"Alright…" he extended his hand. "You have yourself a deal." Raven shook it quickly, then lifted her book again.

"Okay. See you later." Then she made her way down the hallway towards her room. Robin stared after her before sighing and shaking his head.

"Well…I hope she doesn't ask me to do anything strange." Then he went into the kitchen to hunt down some food.

Starfire had finally stopped half dragging Beast Boy when they reached the park. She was now walking down the sidewalk next to the green furry one, holding his arm lightly. He allowed it, though he was striding along a tad stiffly and glancing around frequently, as if a certain caped Titan would jump from the shadows.

"Is it not a beautiful night?" asked the Tameranean, gathering Beast Boy's wandering attention with her luminous eyes. He smiled in return.

"Yeah. It's pretty…" He could trust Raven to make sure Robin didn't show up. He should just enjoy this. Well, not too much…but…why couldn't he? Starfire moved closer, tightening her grip on his arm. He looked down at her and smiled again. This wasn't so bad.

"Hey, Beast Boy! Long time no see! Looking good!" came a familiar voice and they looked up to see Speedy grinning at them. Starfire tilted her head.

"Who are you?" Beast Boy eyes widened in terror.

"Oh. Speedy. Hi. Starfire, this is Speedy. Uh…Cyborg, Robin, and I met him at that virtual battle thing…" Starfire nodded, wrinkling her nose with the memory.

"Greetings Speedy. I am Starfire."

"Now I know who you are. When Robin made some of us honorary Titans, I did some research on you guys. You aren't from Earth, right?"

"I am from Tameran." She replied, beaming at him.

"Cool. So, I didn't know you guys were together. I was actually on my way to your tower to crash for a couple nights, if I could. I have some business-type stuff here and hoped you guys could save me some motel bills."

Beast Boy tried to shove to absolute fear from his body before replying shakily.

"Sure dude. No problem. Lots of room in the tower. Right, Star?"

"Oh Yes." She smiled at Speedy again, and he grinned back at her. "Why do we not walk back with Speedy, Beast Boy?" she asked; her eyes still on the red haired male. Beast Boy gulped.

"Um…okay…"

They made their way back to the Titans' Tower as Speedy chattered about his recent exploits. Starfire listened attentively as Beast Boy tried to think of a way out of Robin slaughtering him. Though by the time they reached the tower, Star had let go of Beast Boy and was walking closer to Speedy. Of that the changeling was grateful for, though he was nervous about the sparkling looks she was giving the honorary member of the Titans. If that kept up, Speedy would certainly _not _be welcomed into the tower by a certain masked male.

When they entered the building, Starfire called out joyously,

"Hello! We have returned!"

Unfortunately, Robin was the first to make an appearance.

"We?" he looked at Beast Boy and Speedy suspiciously, though mostly Beast Boy. "I thought you were at the park by yourself." She glared at Robin and didn't respond. Beast Boy gave an attempt at a smile.

"Um, yeah. So, Speedy was wondering if he could stay here for awhile. He sort of…appeared out of nowhere?" The aforementioned hero extended his hand to Robin.

"Hey, long time no see. Would you mind if I spent a couple nights here? I wanted to avoid spending money on a hotel or temporary apartment."

"Um…sure." Responded Robin hesitantly. "Um…Starfire, why don't you show Speedy to a spare room."

"I will do so to be polite, no because you have ordered me to." She sniffed, walking away with Speedy who gave Robin a questioning look. Beast Boy tried to edge away but the leader of the Titans fixed him with a piercing stare.

"Stop right there. What is going on? I was under the impression Starfire had gone to the park on her own."

"Well…she asked me to go…and…Raven said it would be a good chance for me to try and figure out a memory. I was just going to ask her about her memories of you when Speedy interrupted us. Nothing happened."

"That sounds familiar. Is it another lie?"

"It wasn't a lie the first time!"

"Oh, so it's a lie now!"

"No! You need to stop being so jealously possessive!" Beast Boy yelled back, surprising himself as well as Robin.

"…Then stop giving me reason to be. So I'm assuming your date with Raven was just a cover? That explains her strangeness earlier."

"No. We are going on a date." Came Raven's voice and both men turned to see her standing in the doorway, frowning at them. "You need to stop jumping to conclusions Robin, Beast Boy was merely trying to help you. I asked him to. I told him not to tell you because I figured you would react in the way you have."

"Beast Boy help me?"

"We are going on a date?"

"Yes. Now, I think you two need some time away from each other. Beast Boy, go join Cyborg in playing whatever violent video game has possessed him now, and Robin, perhaps you should work out some of your frustrations in the training room."

"Okay!" replied Beast Boy happily.

"Fine," Gritted out Robin. They both went to their respective "time-outs" as Raven nodded in satisfaction.

"Problem solved. I should get paid for this." Then she returned to her room.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Starfire was wandering the halls, having gotten Speedy settled in and him having asked if she could let him get some rest. She stopped at a partially open door, hearing grunts and shouts, coupled with the occasional curse word. She entered slowly and stopped, for two reasons. First of all, Robin was in there, shirtless, hitting a punching bag relentlessly. Second of all, she had been hit with the strongest sense of déjà vu. She crept closer to the scene of violence, her head tilted with puzzlement. Stopping near Robin, she was about to ask him what he was doing when he spun around, about to kick her.

"Oh!" he said, stopping immediately. "Sorry. I thought you were Beast Boy or something." She stared at him, her eyes having a strange light to them. "Starfire? Are you okay?" Her eyelids fluttered as a similar scene came to her.

_His foot was raised, knee bent and about to collide with the green-eyed girl's stitched stomach. He froze about an inch from the injury and looked at the alien wide-eyed._

_"Starfire. What are you doing here? Why didn't you say something? I could have hurt you!" He dropped his leg immediately and stepped closer. Starfire bit her lip._

_"I am sorry. I was going to cough to alert you of my presence…I did not wish to disturb you but…it seems that you have not quite actually done the given of for with Beast Boy." Robin frowned slightly._

_"No. I haven't forgiven BB." Starfire was surprised at how easily he just said that about his friend._

_"But…Robin, Beast Boy did not do what you suspect of him."_

_"Yes he did." gritted out the leader of the Titans savagely._

_"He did not try to 'do anything' with me! I promise you! I just fell!" She said, getting a bit angry. Robin blinked at her in surprise._

"Robin…" she murmured and he looked at her in astonishment.

"Star?"

"I just…remembered something. I believe. I am not entirely sure."

"Tell me about it…" replied Robin, moving closer to her. She didn't protest as she explained her memory. He smiled when she was done. "Oh. That was about…five days ago I think."

"It truly happened?"

"Oh yeah. You practically begged me not to be mad at Beast Boy. It was cute, really."

"You…talked a lot about trust…"

"Yeah." He took the opportunity to put his arms around her and she accepted it, leaning against him slightly.

"Do you…still trust me? Even after I have tried to avenge my-"

"Yes. I…really like you Star…nothing can change that."

"I am…not sure how I feel about you. It is very difficult with all of these conflicting memories. But I am starting to believe that you did not kill my love…"

"Yes. I didn't."

"Perhaps someone else did…"

He sighed. He wouldn't respond to that now…At least she wasn't trying to shoot him anymore. The rest could wait.


	9. Best Laid Plans

**_Chapter Nine: The 'date' of carnival_**

Starfire sat on the bed in her room, contemplating what had so recently occurred. She wasn't sure what to think now. She had left relatively soon after she told Robin that she didn't believe he killed anyone. Now of course, being alone, she wasn't completely sure what to think about Robin. He stirred strange feelings, especially when he held her but she knew she was betraying her love. Wasn't she? She was now unsure about whether her love had really died. Or even existed in the first place. But that brought on new guilt and she sighed heavily.

"Perhaps I should sleep upon it and come to a better conclusion in the morning." She lay down under the sheets closing her eyes and trying to relax. Sleep didn't come easily, but it visited the alien eventually.

Robin was also having difficultly sleeping. He sat up in the middle of the night, cursing lightly.

"I'm never going to sleep at this rate." He got up and wandered into the kitchen, poking around for possible food-type solution to his problem.

"What has got you up at this hour now?" asked a sharp voice from behind the Boy Wonder. He flipped around to see Raven looking at him with raised eyebrow. "Wait. Don't answer that. I'm sure I can answer it with a single word. Starfire." The Titan leader nodded miserably and Raven sighed heavily.

"Okay then. We need to find that memory soon. Let's start considering the possibilities."

"I've been trying to think of one for a day and a half straight Raven! I think that I was too stupid to have an emotional moment with Starfire. I just…didn't try hard enough when I had the chance."

"Wait a second…" said Raven quietly, realizing something, "The day you brought Star to me to be patched up for the first time…you two had been 'rough housing' on the roof. That…might be potent enough." Robin blinked as the memory came floating back to him.

_"I'm the leader of the Teen Titans. I'm supposed to know what to do in every situation. I made that stupid promise as the leader of the Titans..." His eyes suddenly snapped open, staring at the alien fervently and she sucked in a breath. They were so pained. "Never so much did I want to be your knight in shinning armor. I just wanted to...slay the dragon and save the princess." He reached out to touch Starfire's face tenderly. "My princess."_

_"Robin..." She said, her voice choked with tears. He bent forward gradually, covering her lips with his own. She relaxed slightly and kissed back, her eyes flickering shut. He deepened the kiss and she shifted to give him easier access. A stab of pain went through her and she whimpered. Robin pulled back, looking at her with worry._

"Well…yeah…that's was pretty close I guess…" muttered Robin, "But didn't the woman say something about confessing?"

"Didn't you confess something? Maybe not that you loved her directly, but did you at least hint at it?" Robin thought again and smiled faintly as more of the same memory came slamming into his conscious.

_Starfire and Robin sat on the roof, talking about what had happened with Slade._

"_I didn't think you were the...killing type. To be honest."_

"_I did not think so either." She paused before continuing. "You were going to let him get away..." She whispered, "You made a promise not to harm him."_

"_Star, I had to. I couldn't let him..." He heaved a sigh and looked at her, his eyes clouded with emotion. "We- The Titans have been through so much. We...have to remain a team." He suddenly shook his head violently. "That was stupid. I'm sorry Star. What I meant was...I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting you any more. It was all you. Truthfully...I wouldn't have hesitated so much with any other Titan." There was silence and she searched his eyes, trying to see if he was telling the truth. "But I would not want to put any Titan in danger of course." He quickly tried to correct himself._

"_I know." She whispered._

"_Star...After you shot at Slade and he died, then you fainted and I thought you had died too. Raven said you lost a lot of blood. I had never been so scared in my life." He moved closer to her, his eyes locked on hers. "I can't lose you Star..." His voice was soft and low. She shivered a bit and smiled slightly._

"_I am glad you feel that way...I would not wish to lose you also. We are friends Robin." His eyes suddenly darkened savagely and he leaned forward sharply, pushing her to the ground, his arms on either side. She gasped._

_"Dammit! That's the problem Starfire. I can't just be your friend anymore!" His eyes remained on hers._

"Maybe I did…I don't know if it will be enough…I'm not sure…" He tried to remain composed as he remembered how violent he had been towards her. True, it had only been for a moment, but he still felt guilty about it. Though Starfire had never mentioned it.

"Well, just tell me what needs to happen for the memory to be recreated, and I'll do my best to help," replied Raven hesitantly. Robin smiled sincerely for the first time in a while and outlined his plan. It should have gone off without a "hitch". But they forgot a certain "hitch-hiker" in their tower.

Speedy.

The next morning when all the Titans were eating breakfast, Raven spoke up.

"I think that we should all watch a movie tonight."

"Not…a scary movie, right?" questioned Starfire nervously. Raven managed not to grin

"No Starfire, maybe an action or something." Everyone nodded in agreement, even Speedy before he said,

"Would I be invited?"

"Sure," said Robin quickly. He didn't want any sort of distractions. Speedy smiled and glanced at Starfire who beamed back at him. This of course, made Robin glower. But Cyborg quickly said,

"Hey, how about some superhero movie?"

"Oooh, yeah…" said Beast Boy from his spot next to Raven. "Like…Spiderman or something!" Everyone agreed, though it could be a recent Disney for all Robin cared. (A/N: oh, burn! Sorry…I think most of the more recent Disney's have bombed. Not Pixar Disney. Just Disney. The stupid crappy sequels and stuff. Sorry…I'll shut up now)

She had spent about an hour now, sitting with Speedy on the couch and talking to him about various things. The young red clad honorary Titan seemed flattered, and smiled at Starfire frequently. This of course, did not please a certain member of the Titans.

"How long is she going to sit there with him?" demanded Robin angrily, Raven rolling her eyes as Beast Boy cowered back. Cyborg was in the basement working on the T-car.

"Goodness, Robin, it isn't that bad. She's just talking to him."

"For now, but next thing you know, she might ask him to walk with her in the park." He glared at Beast Boy for emphasizes and the changeling sighed. Raven took a sip of the tea she was holding.

"Well, there's nothing you can do about it. Just wait until tonight. You'll have your chance, Boy Blunder." Beast Boy managed to exchange a smirk with Raven before Robin growled and stalked out of the room.

"And that is why I must make sure not to watch movies of horror while Raven is about." Speedy laughed and Starfire smiled in return.

"That's quite funny Starfire. Man, sometimes I wish I could stay here with you guys."

"Well, perhaps you may visit more frequently. I believe this is your first visit, is it not?"

"Yeah. I'll definitely have to stop by more often." He looked her over quickly, appraisingly, though she didn't notice because her gaze had fallen on Robin as he stalked out of the back of the room. She felt disappointed for a strange reason, but frowned immediately, ignoring it. She turned back to Speedy.

"That is good. You are staying for how long?"

"Hmm…maybe longer than I expected." She smiled at him widely.

"Okay. That sounds very nice."

"Hey…um, Starfire?" said Speedy unsurely. She tilted her head at him.

"Yes Speedy?"

"Would you…like to come with me to a carnival this afternoon?"

"Would it be an adventure that included only the two of us?"

"Yeah. If that's okay?"

"I would enjoy that very much," said Starfire, a brilliant smile gracing her face. Speedy grinned.

"Great! We'll leave in two hours?"

"I will go get ready then!" she jumped up abruptly as Speedy blinked.

"Um…do you need…two hours?" But it was too late, she had disappeared and had also somehow nabbed Raven on her way, as the goth was absence and Beast Boy was staring wide-eyed down the hallway the two girls had gone.

"Guess so…" muttered Speedy.

As soon as Starfire and Raven had entered the alien's room and the door slide closed behind them, the half-demon wrenched herself from the Tamerean's grip and glared at her.

"What is going on?"

"I need to speak with you about my emotional state."

"Alright, Star…" she crossed her arms agitatedly "What's up?"

"I…have not 'been with anyone' since my love. But now I am to go on a…'date' with Speedy to a carnival. I am not sure. Is this wrong? Is it betraying him?" Raven hesitated. She knew Robin would be furious when he found out, and there would be a good chance that Speedy would no longer be an honorary Titan, if he was even alive. And yet…it might be good for Starfire to realize that she could have fun with a guy. And it wouldn't hurt to show Robin that Starfire wouldn't be horribly maimed by going on a date with another guy.

"It isn't betraying him Starfire. I think it might be good for you. You will make sure you're back in time for the movie tonight, right?" The redhead beamed in response.

"Of course I will. Thank you very much friend Raven!"

"No problem. But next time, try not to drag me away to your room. Just ask politely."

"Yes. I am sorry." Raven smiled slightly and shook her head before leaving her to decide what to wear. And she had to tell the Boy Blunder too. This was going to be fun…

"What?" cried Robin, spinning around in his chair to face Raven. She stood just inside his room and rolled her eyes.

"Yes Robin. She is going on a date with Speedy."

"This is worse than her asking him to go to the park!" He quickly stacked the files he had been looking at and got to his feet.

"Robin, you must let her go. Do not try to convince her otherwise."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not. I'm just going to kill Speedy." He stated calmly, heading for the door. Raven moved to block his path.

"Speedy believes that Starfire is single. And technically, she is. Beast Boy said that the archer thought her and BB were together. Fortunately, he corrected Speedy on that matter. It never even crossed the poor guy's mind that you had 'claimed' her. Good god Robin, she's been trying to kill you for three days now!"

"I don't care if it has 'crossed his mind'. He is _not_ going on a date with her!"

"It'll be quick. Tonight, we'll put your plan into effect. By tomorrow morning, everything should be back to normal. Just let this one thing happen. She needs it. Her mind has convinced her to grieve over someone who is basically you. She needs this very much. Her emotional state is still…unstable. Especially with her displaced anger towards you." Starfire's masked knight paused before sighing heavily.

"Fine. But I'm going to watch. Make sure that nothing happens."

"I would not recommend that, but something tells me I won't be able to convince you."

"You would be correct."

"Alright then. They leave in about an hour and a half."

"Thanks Raven. I owe you."

"I know." She melted into the floor and was gone. Robin sank back into his chair and put a hand to his head.

"This is just getting worse and worse."


	10. Five Minutes of Normality

_I should be updating regularly, as I'm out of school now, so I'm good...I think. Good god, I hope. Anyway, this is the first time in fanfic history that I've hit double digits! (Chapter TEN! 10!) I'm so happy! I think I'll finish this story! I'm close to hitting double digits with some other stories too! (ArtOS and Azuma oyobi Nishi and...Mine!...possibly.) Read and enjoy! (And review if you would like!)_**_  
_**

**_  
Chapter Ten: Five minutes of normality_**

Starfire had put on jeans shorts and a lavender t-shirt before checking herself in the mirror.

"I should not dress as a Titan if this is to be a date." She knew she needed someone's opinion on how she looked, and she was sure that Raven wouldn't appreciate being bothered again. She opened her door and stuck her head out warily. A quick look to the left and right confirmed that no one was in the hallway. She walked slowly into the main room and saw that Speedy had left and only Beast Boy and Cyborg were in there, playing video games.

"Um…Beast Boy, Cyborg? Could you two perform an appraisal for me?"

"Can this wait Star?" whined Beast Boy, trying to beat Cyborg at a wrestling sort of game. She frowned and walked forward purposely, stopping directly in front of the TV screen.

"Aw girl, could you have waited five mi-" he stopped and Beast Boy dropped his controller as they both focused on the girl standing in front of them.

"Is this appropriate for my 'date' with Speedy?"

She was wearing short dark blue jean shorts that barely came half-way down her thighs. Her pale purple t-shirt was very form fitting and also revealed a couple inches of flat, orange tinted stomach. Not that the entire team hadn't seen more than that with her usual outfit, but for some reason, she looked so…

"Cute, Star. You look very cute." Said Cyborg, "I would think that would be very nice for a date…" He smiled at her sincerely, as he was probably the only male in the entire Tower that harbored no romantic feelings towards the adorable redhead whatsoever.

Beast Boy, on the other hand, had a totally jaw dropped, utterly awestruck expression on his green skinned face.

"You…look amazing Star…" he mumbled and she smiled at him.

"Thank you. It is appropriate for my date?" It was the changeling's opinion she was most after, as she knew Cyborg would be nice no matter what.

"It's…definitely…"

"Why would you want to wear that Starfire?" a curt voice said from the entrance to the room. All three looked over to see Robin looking in, his expression dark. They had missed his flabbergasted expression two seconds earlier, when he had first laid eyes on Starfire's outfit. That was before she had said the word 'date'. "It's rather whorey." He continued. Starfire's eyes narrowed as both Beast Boy and Cyborg looked shocked.

"Well, you would say that!" She replied, thought secretly, she was rather miffed. "You just do not wish for me to have any sort of happiness!"

"Yeah, Starfire. That's my goal in life! To make yours miserable!" He advanced into the room and Beast Boy and Cyborg scooted to the other end of the couch. Starfire put her hands on her hips and glared at Robin savagely.

"Well you seem to be doing a wonderful job! I am quite miserable!" He stopped when he was right in front of her and frowned.

"Look Starfire; I honestly do not want to make you so unhappy…I just…" He sighed heavily and shook his head.

"If you do not wish to make me unhappy then why are you a murderer!" yelled Starfire in return, still angry. Robin blinked and glared at her, suddenly grabbing her shoulders roughly.

"I am not a murderer! Will you stop saying that! I would never murderer anyone, much less someone you supposedly cared about!" He shook her as he 'explained' this to her causing Cyborg and Beast Boy to get to their feet.

"Stop this! You are hurting me!" said Starfire, tears appearing in her eyes. Robin staggered back, as Cyborg jumped forward and grabbed him, pinning his arms behind his back. Beast Boy helped Starfire sit down on the couch carefully.

"You need to chill, man," said Cyborg as Beast Boy looked Starfire over worriedly. Robin watched them with narrow eyes, still shaking with anger.

"She needs to stop-"

"It is not her fault," came a hollow voice from the doorway. Raven stood, her eyes tinted red as she looked fiercely at Robin. "You need to understand that. She does not remember who you really are, and it isn't her fault that she doesn't. She has been made to believe that you are a murderer. We are trying to fix this, but shaking her so savagely will _not_ help!" The goth moved to the couch and glanced at Starfire cautiously. "Fortunately, I do not think you have committed any damage. This time. But perhaps you need to stay away from her for awhile. We might need to put a hold on tonight if you are going to be behaving in such ways." She looked at Starfire again, this time her eyes seemed to blank. Robin's gaze softened as he saw Starfire look at him, trembling a bit.

"I'm sorry Star…I'm so sorry…" she stared at him, her eyes fluttering as she stood slowly. Beast Boy reached out to steady her but Raven pushed his hands back, shaking her head. She looked at Cyborg and he nodded, releasing his hold on Robin.

Starfire took a step forward and stopped, taking a deep breath. Her eyes seemed strangely clear.

"Robin…" she whispered slowly, her eyes locked on his. His eyes changed from guilty to surprised as he ran forward and hugged her.

"Star! What…what happened?"

"I am…not sure…" she mumbled, looking up at him adoringly. "But I do not mind. I am happy that I can look at you without the haze."

"I somehow pushed the poison back. But only for a short while," said Raven, her haggard voice accounting for her exhaustion. She slumped down onto the couch almost onto Beast Boy, though she did end up leaning mostly on him, not that he minded.

"Robin…I…did not mean to go to that place. With those men. I am sorry. I put you in danger."

"You put yourself in danger…" stated Robin sternly. "That's worse. Do you know what those men were planning on doing to you?"

"No. Please do not inform me either. I just want…Raven said that this clearness will not last long…please…do you know how to make it go away yet?"

"We have an idea." He said, tightening his arms around her as she laid her head on his chest. "We're going to try it tonight. But…um…so do you know what is going on? Since you've…been affected?"

"Not entirely. I only have pieces and bits of what my other self is doing."

"Ah. Well…I think you're supposed to-"

"Hey! What is going on in here?"

Everyone except Raven, who didn't even open her eyes, turned to see Speedy with his arms crossed, looking at Starfire and Robin unhappily. Robin actually smirked as Starfire blinked in confusion.

"Maybe you should go wait in the other room," said Robin snidely. Starfire looked between the two Titans puzzled.

"Maybe you should tell me why you have Starfire in your arms when I'm supposed to be taking her on a date."

"A date?" said Starfire, perplexed. Cyborg snorted and motioned to Beast Boy.

"Come on man, I think we should leave this love triangle to themselves."

"Um…but what about…" he motioned to Raven, who head was still currently on his shoulder.

"Just walk me to my room…" she said, getting to her feet slowly. Cyborg raised an eyebrow, but made no retort has Beast Boy and Raven headed out of the room, him half supporting her. Cyborg followed quickly.

"What is this date you speak of?" repeated Starfire, though she returned her head to Robin's chest. Speedy frowned as Robin stroked her hair lightly.

"Don't worry about it. Look, Speedy, Star hasn't quite been herself lately. You'll get to go on your date still, just give me a couple minutes with her. In about five minutes, she'll be back to trying to kill me anyway."

"Look, Robin, I don't think-"

"Speedy, just go." Said Robin, with finality, his eyes narrowed. The bowman sighed before shrugging and leaving the room. Starfire looked up at Robin questioningly.

"What was that about?"

"It doesn't matter…"

"Have I really been trying to kill you?"

"Yes, but it really doesn't matter. You'll be back to normal soon. I promise." She smiled as his kissed the top of her head affectionately.

"You have not been hurt, have you?"

"So far I've managed to avoid your star bolts." He replied with amusement. She shook her head, exhaling loudly. He led her over to the couch and sat down, with her next to him. "I missed you a lot though…apparently your 'other self', as you call her, has some affections for Beast Boy."

"What?" said Starfire, looking at him in astonishment. "I do not! I only have affections for you!"

"I know, I know," replied Robin, laughing. "And I only have affections for you." He leaned over and kissed her lightly. She beamed back at him and curled up so she was practically in his lap. "Starfire?"

"Hmmm?" she said sleepily

"Did you…want to tell me something when you thought I was going to get shot by that gun?" She glanced up at him with half-lidded eyes.

"Yes…I was very worried that I would not get the chance to inform you that I…" she trailed off, her eyes closing and her breath growing deep. Robin cursed as Beast Boy entered the room.

"Hey…uh, Raven said to tell you that Star will prolly be returning to her evil killing self about now."

"Thank you…I think I got that," snapped Robin.

"Are you going to continue to be mad at me? All the time? 'Cause I don't think that's fair. First of all, when Star was normal, we didn't do anything, and second of all, all we've done since then is walk on a sidewalk in the park. Okay? And that's not even my fault!" cried Beast Boy. Robin glanced at the changeling and bit his lip.

"Okay. You're right. I've been mad at you for stupid reasons. You at least, have understood my dilemma. Speedy on the other hand…"

"That's the other thing, Robin. You need to stop being so jealous! I mean, maybe you just think you're protecting her and all, but it's not really a great idea. Speedy didn't know you were 'together' and all, and I mean this in the most non-interested way, but Star is rather cute and friendly. I'm not really surprised that Speedy is interested in her. I would be too if it weren't for Rae."

"Beast Boy."

"Yeah?"

"I think you need to stop while you're ahead. I get it. Thanks. We're officially back on good terms."

"That's all I wanted."

He exited and Robin glanced back down at the alien in his lap.

_Mmmmm...I tried to make it cute. And I've added some BBRae...cause some people asked for it. Though the arrival of Speedy...I dunno...I'm not very happy with it. I feel like I'm laying on the conflict too much. And this is not an angsty story...I'm too much of a hopeless romantic. Dammit. Oh...sorry. Anyway, maybe I'll get out of my depression soon. Reviews do help though!_


	11. Right Place, Wrong Guy

_A/N: Well look at that! I got through my writer's block! Here y'all go! Enjoy!_

**_Chapter Eleven: Right Place, Wrong Guy_**

Starfire's eyes fluttered open and she sucked in a deep breath, glancing around slowly. She was…in someone's lap. Robin's lap!

She leapt up to her feet and looked at him with wide eyes. He looked back at her coolly.

"What…what did you do?"

"Nothing. You…fell." He mumbled before getting up and walking out of the room. She watched him leave; feeling like something heavy had been dropped into her stomach.

"I…"

"Starfire!" said Speedy excitedly as he entered the room, "Robin said you're back to normal now. Are you about ready for our date?"

"Um…yes. I am sorry. I am ready to depart when you are."

"I'm definitely ready now!" his changed clothes, jeans and a red shirt accounting for this. They exited the Tower, Starfire smiling now, though it did not completely reach her eyes. Robin watched from the window in his room, sighing heavily.

"Raven's right, Beast Boy's right. Everyone is but me. I have been too harsh lately. The real Starfire is not trying to leave me…" he sank down into the chair in front of his computer desk, "And we'll have the real one back soon…"

* * *

Beast Boy stood uncomfortably in Raven's room, while she sat on her bed. 

"So, Robin seems to be okay now?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I knocked some sense into him."

"Thanks Beast Boy…" she muttered, trying to keep her eyes open, "I just…"

"You need to take a nap. Maybe you shouldn't go to the movie thing tonight."

"No no. You're right. I just need a nap. I'll sleep for a couple hours and be ready for the movie."

"Are you sure? I'm sure everyone will be okay with you sleeping through it."

"Heh. Not Robin. I'm in charge of keeping everyone in the room, watching the movie."

"Aw, I can do that," said Beast Boy, waving a hand carelessly. Raven raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay…probably not." Raven smiled at him and then yawned.

"Well, I have to actually go to sleep in order to get some sleep. Will you be okay for a couple hours, Beast Boy? Be able to not wreck havoc on the Tower?"

"Of course," he sniffed. She smirked slightly, laying down and closing her eyes. Beast Boy crept closer and stood over her.

"Beast Boy what are-" He leaned down and kissed her gently. Her eyes snapped open and looked at him in surprise. "Are you crazy! What if I blew up the Tower!" The changeling gave her a toothy grin.

"But you didn't. So now you can go to the sleep peacefully. Umm…'night' Raven." He said, still smiling as he turned and left the room. Raven stared after him, before her eyes fell closed and she smiled lightly, drifting off.

* * *

Robin let out a light curse, standing up sharply. 

"Alright, fine. I've sat on my hands long enough. I can't stand this any longer. I just need to make sure she comes back okay. I won't interfere," he paused, "I will not interfere." He repeated sternly before nodding to himself and glancing around. "Well…can't let anyone catch me leaving…least of all Raven." He looked to his window and smiled, opening it and slipping out.

* * *

Starfire looked up at the sky, seeing that it was beginning to darken. Speedy and her would have to leave soon in order to be back in time for the movie thing. 

"Um, Speedy?"

"Yeah Starfire?" said the bowman, smiling at her. She returned it hesitantly.

"We…must return to the Tower soon. It is almost time for the watching of the movie."

"Oh yeah. Well, just one more ride, okay? You have to see the sun set from the Ferris wheel!" He grabbed her wrist, pulling her over to the large contraption. She stared up at it, an icy feeling of familiarness washing over her.

They got into a short line, and were quickly given a seat. They didn't see the dark shape take a seat in the cab behind them. It swung into motion and Starfire gave a little yelp, causing Speedy to grin.

"Best view of the city. Haven't you ever been up on a Ferris wheel before?"

The alien was quiet for a moment, her eyes downcast.

"I…do not think so." She mumbled, her first true lie she could remember. She wasn't sure why she said that. She could just say she had, and not elaborate. But somehow…her other time on a Ferris wheel felt private. Like a secret. Even perhaps from herself, as she couldn't remember the experience totally. It was almost as if a part of her was hiding the memory until she was worthy.

"Hmm…should've gotten something to eat up here. Oh well. I'm assuming there'll be popcorn back at the Tower," said Speedy, winking at Starfire. She nodded in response, trying to recall what she had been eating her last time. She knew she had been eating something. For the first time…something that disappeared…

Robin frowned from the cab below them, but bit his lip.

"Do not interrupt her date Robin…" he told himself firmly. "Even if Speedy is taking _our _place…" He gritted his teeth and clenched the bar in front of him to prevent himself from leaping up at Speedy and beating him within an inch of his life.

BOOM!

Starfire looked up, her eyes glowing in preparation for the battle ahead. Speedy laughed from next to her.

"Chill, Starfire, it's just fireworks!" She stared up at the exploding flashes of color, blinking a couple times. Then she glanced slowly over at Speedy, whose eyes were glued to the sky.

"Right place…wrong guy…" she mumbled, sliding down in her seat. Speedy looked at her in concern.

"Hey, Starfire, are you okay?"

"I…believe I wish to go back to the Tower now. I am sorry." He tilted his head and shrugged.

"Okay. As soon as we get back down to the bottom, we'll leave. I promise. Sorry. I thought you'd like the fireworks."

Speedy looked back up at the fireworks as Starfire scooted over to the opposite side, putting her head on her hand. She stared off to the side and Robin saw her mutter,

"Not with you…I have just realized that I should not be here." He resisted the urge in whoop in joy, grinning widely instead.

"That's my Star…"

The Ferris wheel finally sunk back to the ground and Starfire hopped out, Speedy following behind.

"You sure there's nothing else you wanna do, Starfire?"

"I am sure. Please let us return…to the Tower" she had almost said "home". But she couldn't say that. She just needed to sit quietly and think. Sort things out. The walked back towards the Tower, Speedy started to feel quite uncomfortable. He suddenly had a sense that the whole afternoon and evening had been a waste. Robin thought otherwise. In his opinion, it was the breakthrough he needed. Now all Starfire needed was a slight push. And she would tumble right into his arms. Right?


	12. Not 'Fitting In'

**_Chapter Twelve: Not 'Fitting In'_**

Raven opened her eyes slowly. Her internal clock told her it was about time for the movie thing. She sat up and glanced around her room. Nothing seemed out of place. And yet…she frowned and got out of bed, snatching her cape from a hook and pulling it on. She walked out, squinting down the hallway to the living room, where she could see three shapes sitting quietly on the couch. She headed into the room to see the three residential boys of the Tower sitting silently.

"Alright, who's going to tell me what's going on?" Beast Boy was the first to look up at her and smile.

"Hey Rae! You're awake! We're just waiting for Starfire and Speedy, well and you, before we started the movie."

"Where are they?" she asked, glancing at Robin who didn't seem mad. Though he didn't seem happy. He looked up at her slowly.

"In front of the Tower. I think…Starfire's talking to him." He raised his eyebrows significantly. Raven nodded knowingly.

"Okay. Well, someone pop in the movie so we'll be ready when they come in. Better to avoid awkward silences." Cyborg got up and opened the movie box, pulling out the tape and pushing it into the VCR. The hush was very thick during this sequence. Raven grimaced. "Well…too late for that. How long have they been down there?" Beast Boy and Cyborg shrugged. Robin sighed.

"Um…about ten minutes." He mumbled, almost guiltily. Raven stared him down.

"You didn't do anything, did you?"

"No. I can honestly say that I did not interfere with Starfire's date."

"Good." She wondered why he seemed strange. She could tell he wasn't lying. Maybe she should go check on Starfire. Something was up. She preferred things to be…down.

* * *

"Well, Speedy. You must understand. I am very sorry. I am not interested in you in that sort of way." She was trying very hard to keep the sniffles out of her voice.

"Then why did you go on a date with me?"

"I thought that perhaps I felt that way about you. But I was confused. I am very sorry."

"You keep saying that. Are you really? Or maybe that embrace I caught you in with Robin earlier meant a little more than I was led to believe."

"Excuse me? I do not understand. I do not recall this incident."

"Oh, whatever Starfire," replied Speedy bitterly. He crossed his arms as Starfire looked down at the ground pitifully. She hadn't meant for this to happen.

"I did not mean to…cause your feelings pain."

"Maybe you should go back to your planet." He snapped, glaring at her. She glanced at him wide-eyed. "It seems like you can't handle 'human' things here. You don't really fit in here. You'd probably have better luck back on Tameran or whatever."

"But…I like it here…"

"Really? You seem have given me the opposite impression." He rolled his eyes, glancing out at the water. "Look, Starfire. I think…well thought, you were really cool. I don't understand what I did wrong, but whatever. I don't think it really matters. You seem to be jumping around with a lot of guys here. I mean, first I see you with Beast Boy in the park, then you're flirting with me, then I see you practically glued to Robin in the living room, then you go on a date with me, and really seem to have a good time. Until the Ferris wheel." The Tameranean winced. She couldn't explain about her very private memory without hurting Speedy further. She already felt terrible.

"Perhaps we should go back inside. They will be wondering where we are. We can watch the movie and eat the popcorn. Things will be better after that."

"I don't think so. I can't stay here if you're here."

"Then perhaps I should return to my planet…"

"I certainly wouldn't stop you…"

"You are not going anywhere, Star," came a cold voice. They both turned to see Raven standing in front of the water, her eyes narrowed. "I thought things would end up better than this. I should have known. Speedy, I don't believe you should stay for the movie. Perhaps you should pack your stuff and go stay in a hotel."

"I was thinking the same thing." He said, sighing heavily. Starfire hugged herself, trying very hard not to cry. The door slide shut with a slam as Speedy entered, leaving Starfire and Raven alone. The empath slowly approached the redhead.

"Starfire?"

"I…I did not mean for this to happen."

"I know. It isn't your fault."

"Friend Raven?"

"Yes?"

"I wish to be alone. Could you perhaps continue the movie without my company?"

"Sure Star." Raven replied, knowing Robin would be pissed. But she'd deal with that. Starfire needed to be by herself right now. The orange skinned girl flew up to the top of the Tower as Raven watched quietly, groaning. "This is going to end in bloodshed or tears. I just know it. Well, time to inform the troops." She smiled slightly and sunk into the ground.

* * *

Cyborg ducked behind the couch as Beast Boy threw the sock.

"Booyah! Missed me! You couldn't hit me if I was right in front of you!"

"Why don't you come out here and say that to my face!"

Robin sighed heavily, leaning back on the couch. How long could Starfire's talk take? Raven had disappeared a little bit ago. Maybe there was some mysterious black hole at the entrance to the Tower. He should check it out. He stood to leave when Raven appeared out of the floor in front of him. He jumped back, hitting his head on the top of the couch.

"Jeez Raven, you scared me! Use a door why don't ya?" She smiled faintly and turned to sit on the couch. Beast Boy immediately sat next to her.

"Come on, let's watch that movie."

"Wait, where's Star?" demanded Robin angrily. Cyborg crept back to the couch cautiously. Raven shrugged.

"Well, she had sort of an argument with Speedy. So he's leaving for a hotel and she's having some private time. Just leave her alone."

"Raven." The Boy Wonder hissed. She looked at him steadily. "Why did this happen tonight?"

"Sorry Robin." She said before turning to smile at Cyborg. "Okay, movie time. Let's go!" Beast Boy grinned at her as she settled back. The half robot shrugged and hit play on the remote. Robin growled and stood up abruptly, stalking out of the room. Raven rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything. Cyborg tried to ignore it. Beast Boy was already glued to the TV screen.

"Oh yeah! FBI warning! That means the previews are about to start!" said the changeling excitedly. Cyborg and Raven exchanged a glance before starting to watch with him.

* * *

Starfire gazed up at the expanse of sky. She had drawn her knees to her chest, happy that it didn't cause her wound to open. It seemed that it was finally almost healed. This day hadn't gone how she wanted at all. She couldn't even remember part of it. She was still wondering how she had ended up on Robin's lap before Speedy's date. Maybe what he said about her being in an embrace with the Boy Wonder actually meant something. And there was what he had said about her returning to Tameran.

Looking up at the sky, she tried to take comfort in the fact that her planet was up there. Her home.

Those words seemed hollow. Home. It didn't seem to apply to Tameran anymore. And yet she was having trouble saying it about the Tower. She wasn't sure where she belonged anymore. She had been rather cruel to Speedy. All she had done was apologize and tell him she wasn't interested. No wonder he'd been mad.

"I should return to Tameran. The Titans are doing well without me…I shall pack tomorrow morning and inform them of my departure." She hesitated, remembering her scant time with Robin where she hadn't tried to kill him. He'd been rather nice…she couldn't blame him for her problems anymore. It was her. Only her. She didn't fit in here. She wouldn't fit in. It was time to leave. For good.

* * *

"Starfire?" he knocked again, but still there was no answer. Robin frowned, thinking. Raven had said that Star wanted to be alone. She wanted 'private time'. "Ah! She likes to sit by herself on the roof!" He smiled, dashing for the stairs to the roof and climbing them two at a time. He opened the door slowly, peeking out to see Star sitting at the edge of the roof, gazing up at the sky. He closed the door quietly and crept forward.

"I do not belong here. I shall leave. Then I will cause no more problems." She blinked back tears, a sob escaping. Suddenly she felt someone behind her, standing silently. She whirled around to see Robin looking at her, his eyes dark with emotion. "Why are you here?"

"You aren't causing problems Star…" he said, stepping closer and dropping down beside her. She stared at him.

"Yes I am. Speedy said that I do not seem to like it here and I do not 'fit in'. He said that I should perhaps return to Tameran and be happy there." Robin scowled and shook his head.

"Speedy's wrong. You belong here. With the Titans. With me." He said firmly. She looked at him in surprise as he smiled slightly. "Star…will you let me be your knight? Let me save the princess?" She gasped and blinked as he reached out to gently touch her face. "My princess."

There was a flash of green.


	13. Affectionate Feelings

**_Chapter Thirteen: Affectionate Feelings_**

Cyborg glanced at Beast Boy and Raven who were sitting rather close and smiled to himself, stretching leisurely and getting to his feet.

"Well, I think I'm going to head to bed. I'm really tired."

"Maybe we should too…" mumbled Raven, still looking at the TV screen.

"Naw, you two stay here and finish the movie. See you guys in the morning." He winked at Beast Boy who flashed a grin at the half robot as he left the room. Then the changeling turned to Raven and scooted even closer, putting his arm around her. She didn't protest, in fact, she leaned a little bit onto him.

"What do you think Robin and Star are doing?" he asked wickedly. She looked at him, rolling her eyes.

"If Robin is even with Starfire, they're probably just talking. Or she's trying to kill him. Either way, it's not my problem." She said resolutely. He nodded in agreement; bring his free hand up to grab a strand of hair, wrapping it around a finger. "What are you doing Beast Boy?"

"Playing with your hair. I didn't realize how soft it was." He grinned and released the hair, leaning down to kiss her. She ducked down so he had to kiss her forehead. "Hey! That's not fair!" She looked back up at him and smiled.

"Life isn't fair. Watch the movie BB…" she snuggled down against his shoulder and smirked as he groaned and turned his attention back to the movie. "Beast Boy?"

He glanced at her curiously.

"Yeah Rae?"

"If we're going to be together like this, you aren't allowed to go on anymore dates with Starfire. You understand?" She said with mock sternness. He chuckled, pulling her closer.

"Yeah. But only under one condition." The empath looked at him warily.

"What's that?" He gave her a wide smile, leaning down and kissing her forcefully before pulling back and waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You have to let me kiss you the way _I _want to." She shoved him and shook her head in amusement. He grinned; happy he finally got something he wanted. Things were finally looking up.

* * *

It was a disaster. It couldn't possibly get worse. Unless he was…

Starfire shook her head. No. He couldn't be dead. She got to her feet and looked at Robin's crumpled form mournfully. She remembered everything. She was back to normal. But at what price? Apparently she had released a nasty wave of star bolts and hit her dear Robin. Almost ironic considering the weeks she's been trying to kill him and missed. Then she was back to normal, didn't want to cause him even the slightest of harm and she'd nailed him. Like six times. She moved forward slowly staring down at the quiet shape.

"Robin?" she whispered, stopping above him and looking down into his mask. She was pretty sure his eyes were closed. "Please be okay Robin. I am sorry." She kneeled down next to him and reached out to touch his face. "I have returned to my state of normal. I will not be pursuing you with ill will any longer." She could feel the tears start to run freely and choked back a sob. So much pain. She wasn't sure if she could deal with it anymore. She should go back to her planet. All she caused was pain. She looked up at the sky again. "All I cause is pain. I can perform no healing or giving of happiness."

"You're definitely making me happy Star…" came a ragged voice. She glanced down to see Robin looking up at her, smiling slightly.

"No. I have hurt you. I did not mean to…"

"I know. It doesn't matter. As long as you're okay now."

"I am fine. I have always been fine." She couldn't hold back any more and collapsed on his chest, crying. He lifted a hand and laid it on her back, rubbing small comforting circles on it.

"It's okay Star. Everything's okay now. I'm fine. It would take a lot more than a couple of your star bolts to knock me down." Starfire stopped a moment to give him a minor glare.

"You are currently upon the ground. My star bolts did cause you to be in this position."

"Okay. You're right. But I'm good. I just lost it for a sec." he reassured her. She still looked pensive. He struggled to sit up and she scuttled back quickly, her expression now worried. He gave her a grin and leaned forward, kissing her lightly. She kissed him back hard, almost as if to make sure he was really alive. Pulling back, he said,

"You're you and I'm me. We're back to just being together. Right?"

"You ask a question you already know the answer to." She replied, smiling at him. "I am me and I am yours Robin." This triggered another deep kiss; a shivering, bone quivering, toe tingling kiss. "I shall no longer be having affectionate feelings for Beast Boy or Speedy." She murmured, winking at him. He gave her a mock groan, getting to his feet and pulling her up with him.

"Oh really. You're going to have a crush on Cyborg now?"

"What?"

"Or maybe…Mas y Menos?"

"No I will not!" she yelled, stamping her foot. Robin smirked.

"Not even Aqualad?" Starfire tilted her head, a far away look appearing on her face.

"Well, perhaps Aqualad…"

"Star!"

"I am only making a joke." She said, smiling triumphantly. Robin shook his head sadly.

"You better be…I've seen the way you and Raven always look at him…" He turned away. Starfire gasped and rushed to him, putting her arms around him.

"I will not have affections for Aqualad. Do not worry! I am sorry for making a joke." She said in a rush. Robin turned, smiling at her and she frowned and smacked him on the shoulder lightly. "That was not fair." She said, hurt, and pulled away from him.

"I'm sorry." He said, snatching her arm and drawing her to him. "Come on, let's go downstairs. Okay?" Starfire looked at him and nodded, and the two left the roof and went into the hallway where the bedrooms were.

"Do you think everyone else is still watching the movie?" asked Starfire, trying to glimpse the living room. Robin distracted her though by kissing her neck lightly, his arms around her hips and his chest against her back.

"I don't think it matters Star." He murmured. She made a quiet sound of agreement, leaning back against him. "Come on, let's go to my room." Star looked at him in surprise as he smiled disarmingly. "I just want to stay with you. I missed you Star…" She smiled and let him lead her to the door of his room. It slid open and they entered slowly, still kissing occasionally.

"I have missed you also Robin…" whispered Starfire at one point. They ended up on the bed and the Tameranean almost felt like she belonged. Almost.

_Yes…rather short. Sorry. Hey uhhh…I'm going to be ambiguous in the next (and last) chapter about what Robin and Star do. It's really up to you guys. You can decide for yourself whether they…'fornicated'…or whatever. If you want the authoress' opinion, I like to think that they did, but I would not like to describe it. I'll stick to describing love, not lemons. Thank you._


	14. That's My Star

_Hey luvs! My last chapter…I'm so sad. I love this story! I believe that it is my best piece of work. I hope y'all agree…Anyway, I've enjoyed my time with you guys…I'm thinking of doing a sequel that might focus a little more on BB and Rae…after all, they still have a date to go on! But there would still be some slight (prolly more…) Star and Rob because they're my favorite! Yeah Koriand'r and Richard! Um…yeah. Comics…sorry. Onward ho!_

_**(You may want to go back and read the first paragraph of this story again. This takes place directly after Starfire's reflection in the first chapter.)**_

**_Epilogue: That's My Star_**

And yet…could I stay? Looking at Robin's sleeping form, I knew it would hurt very much if I was to depart, but perhaps it would be better for everyone. I had changed so much. Too much. I had killed Slade. I had tried to kill Robin. I did not belong here anymore. But now Robin and I…were very close and it would be almost impossible to get away.

There was a slight creak as I stood and I heard Robin mumbled something sleepily. I glanced at him to sleep his eyes open and looking at me. Blue eyes. At some point during our time in his room, he had removed his mask.

"Where are you going Star?" he asked, almost harshly. I looked at him carefully, trying to hide my sorrow.

"I was going to return to my room…so no one would be suspicious of our activities." I tried to explain feebly, moving away from the bed and towards the door. Robin let out a sigh of exasperation and lifted an arm to motion for me to come back.

"Star, you're staying here for the night. And maybe other nights. I don't really care what the others think. We probably did what they're going to be thinking anyway." He finished, grinning. I tried not to blush as I took a single step back towards the bed.

"I believe I should return to my room for a little bit. I could come back." I tried to reason. Robin frowned and I sensed annoyance.

"Star, you get back on this bed right now." He practically growled. I hesitated.

"I need…to go to the room of bath." His expression changed from displeasure to confusion and worry.

"Starfire, why are you trying to leave? Did I do something wrong?" He sat up slightly and I shook my head quickly.

"No no. You have done nothing wrong. Nothing is wrong."

"Star…you still suck at lying." He muttered, crossing his arms. I sighed.

"You are correct, of course. You are always right. Except in the fact that I belong here."

"You remember me saying that? I thought that was before you went back to normal."

"I told you that I knew some of the actions and words my other self had. I heard very much before the time of me returning to normal."

"You do belong here," restated Robin firmly.

"I used to. I do not anymore. Not since I have participating in the attempting of murdering. Both of you and Slade. I succeeded with Slade. I am very grateful that I did with you. But I might have. And we do not even know if I will try to kill anyone again or not. Perhaps we have not totally cured what the knife's purpose was." I explained, starting to back up. Robin groaned and slide off the bed, standing and walking over to me.

"Star. You will always belong here. You aren't going to try to kill me again. I won't let you; Raven won't let you, and neither with BB or Cy. Okay? The knife's poison or whatever is gone. Trust me. I know."

"How?" I demanded. He chuckled lightly and put his arms around me. I was stiff for a couple moments before relaxing into the embrace.

"I just do. Have I been wrong before?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I know. But this time I'm right. Just trust me."

"I do not have a choice in that matter…" I mumbled, with slight irritation. I knew he was smiling as he said,

"Well…we don't have choices with a lot of things…"

"Like love?" I asked softly, looking up at him. He stared back down solemnly.

"Yeah."

"Robin…I never told you that…" I trailed off, thinking about my intent to leave. It would be easier if I didn't tell him. For both of us.

"I know Star." He replied, leaning down to kiss me, "I love you too." I closed my eyes as his lips closed over mine, a tear slipping down my face. He pulled back, looking at me intently. "Starfire…you were planning on leaving us weren't you? Leaving me?" He voice was raw with hurt and a couple more tears fell from my lowered eyes. "Why Star?"

"I do not want to harm anyone else. Especially not you…" I said and he snorted. I glanced at him in surprise.

"Star…you are such an idiot." He said it affectionately and I blinked as he continued, "If you left…you'd hurt everyone, and especially me so much more than you ever could do by trying to 'kill' us." He rested his chin gently on the top of my head. "You're going to stay, Star. Even if I have to tie you to my bed."

"You would enjoy that…" I said accusingly.

"Hm…not so much of an idiot, are you?" He joked. I exhaled softly and pulled back from him, gazing back out the window. "Star?" he questioned tentatively. I smiled lightly.

"I can not pick out Tameran. I never could. There are so many stars and planets shinning in the sky. And yet…"

"And yet what?"

"And yet I am already on my home. My home from now on."

"That's my Star…"

_What did you guys think? Should I do a sequel? I might address more of the resolution of Starfire's issues. But it would probably be a BBRae…most likely. Anyway, let me know. And that would conclude my attempt at angst…Man do I suck at it. Oh well. Bye for now!_

_**kitkatfox**_


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